Chapter Text
After her family and the rest of the Nelyar her mother's kin arrived to Valinórë, Míriel was aimless for a while. She helped her sister Méliel and law-sister Lónissë in assisting Rúmil in his specialization, but Míriel has nothing to do.
She weaves, for a while. But unlike in a world where she could have made it so, weaving is not a great art of the Eldar - it is only used in clothing, which Míriel dislikes making. And so Míriel has nothing, really, to do.
Except become a healer. Míriel was a healer in Cuiviénen, when she could spare her weaving of the necessary clothing. She enjoyed it, undoubtedly, as a thing she'd do when times grew hard.
(She had been a warrior, too, and a formidable one, but in Cuiviénen, they did not need another warrior, no matter how good Míriel was. They needed a healer.)
But Míriel was also a good healer. And times were sparse, with children being born as Valinórë's health set in, and so Míriel found herself healing.
That is also how Míriel found herself as the palace healer. Queen Indis, having her second child, needed a new healer, and she recognizd Míriel from Cuiviénen.
"Us Cuiviénen elves must stick together," she told Míriel, and hired her on the spot.
And so Míriel delivered Ñolofinwë, then Írimë, then Arafinwë. She served as primarily the palace's birthing healer, but she also served all who came to the palace in need of one.
Which is how, when she served Queen Indis for the final time for the birth of her newest daughter, she knew something was wrong. Each pregnancy had taken more out of the queen, and although Míriel worried, it was not her place to tell the queen to change something, and so, as a commoner, she said nothing.
(Míriel also developed a silent, steady dislike of the king. He had attended, of the four children of Queen Indis she had delivered, only Ñolofinwë's birth. Míriel also saw his favouritism, and for all it grated on Queen Indis, she could not deny that the queen also chose her own favourites - notably, Calwanossë. Míriel wanted children, wanted children so much, and she vowed she'd never treat her children like that. Míriel also pledged that she would give her hypothetical children better names.)
But Míriel was experienced, and as soon as she delivered Vanissë - as the queen named her immediately - Queen Indis was feeling weak.
She slept, with her eyes closed. Míriel went into panic mode.
Six hours later, the queen woke up. She headed towards the Gardens of Estë, carried by the Maia Sendallë, and said none would attend her. She had yet to even form a bond with Vanissë.
Queen Indis did not come back, and Míriel heard of it eight hours later by message of the Maia Sendallë, that the queen would sleep and wake up perhaps yéni later.
Finwë was away, in Taniquetil, in Valimar, something of that.
Míriel looked at the baby she was holding in her arms and feeding cow milk. She turned to her dear friend, a co-healer by the name of Mélatirmë.
"I will form an emergency bond with the child," she told Mélatirmë. "It is necessary. Taniquetil is three days away by the fastest horse in Valinórë. If not given a bond, Vanissë will die."
Mélatirmë only nodded. "Do as you must."
And so Míriel formed a bond with little Vanissë, and suddenly, she had a child she needed to support, needed to love.
Three hours later, Míriel still holding Vanissë, she allowed the queen's other children to meet their new sister and gave them the news wishing her voice didn't tremble.
(She didn't speak of the parental bond with Vanissë. They didn't need to know that burden.)
Ñolofinwë was angry, Calwanossë complative. Arafinwë was too young to care, and Írimë... nodded, like she didn't care.
(Míriel realized Írimë had already realized her mother preferred Calwanossë and her father Ñolofinwë.)
Three days later, Finwë arrived. He demanded to see his daughter and wife immediately, for he had only heard something had gone wrong with the birth.
Míriel was escorted to see him, carrying Vanissë along the way.
"Your wife sleeps forevermore - or for yéni - in the Gardens of Estë. According to the Maia Sendallë, Queen Indis will not wake for many yéni, at the very least. This is your daughter, whom your wife named Vanissë. I have formed a parental bond with her to ensure her survival, but otherwise, you will not see me around, as I may have to quit the palace as a birthing healer."
Finwë left immediately, not acknowledging Míriel. She finds out later he went straight to the queen's old rooms; Míriel does not think anyone sees him again for months, only hears that the others have taken to leaving food outside his door, knocking thrice, and saying "Food is ready, my king", and the food will be gone by morn.
But on the bright side, her new position as the nursemaid of Vanissë - the poor girl has not even an ataressë, they are using Finwiel - comes with many benefits, most of all Vanissë herself. She is a delightful child, and even though Míriel knows it cannot last, she enjoys the feeling of raising a child. She loves Vanissë, for how foolish and futile it is.
(Méliel warns her; as sisters, twins nonetheless, they have always been close, and Méliel fears. But Míriel does not. That is where they differ: Méliel knows when she has lost the game, and Míriel will always keep fighting until she has won. Lónissë worries too, Míriel has known her since Cuiviénen, and, after Méliel and Míriel's parents died during the Great Journey, they only really have each other and Lónissë.)
In those months, though, Míriel's work takes off. Suddenly, she's recieving commissions from even High King Ingwë, and Finwë has still not formed a parental bond with Vanissë. If she leaves her job, Vanissë will die, and she is a child. Míriel will never allow it.
(She also gains the epessë of Serindë.)
Finwë holds Vanissë's naming ceremony a month after he finally leaves the queen's chambers, a bonds with her the night before.
Faniel, he calls her. A terrible name. Míriel wants to yell at him for it, but he is her king. To name her for the hröa of the ainur is either disrespect at a high degree to the ainur, or an ill-thought and foolish name.
Míriel does not speak of her anger on Vanissë's behalf. Even Vanissë is a terrible name. If she had to name the girl, golden locks like amber caught in sunlight, fading to a deep, dark black, eyes a green-gray, she would call her Helyanwissë, rainbow, or something suitably fantastical. Rilyalaurë, Quililillë.
And so Míriel continues to take care of Vanissë, continues weaving, until one day, the king calls her to his office.
"I have never thanked you," he tells her, "for keeping my daughter Faniel Aranel alive."
"I only did what any other would," Míriel says, bowing deep. "Finwë Noldóran, aranya, none would let a child die."
"Perhaps," the king says, "but you of all chose to take the burden. And for that, I have a deal, that could be a reward. If you choose not to take it, I will devise an alternate reward."
Míriel squints her eyes slightly. "Let I hear of the deal."
"Marry me."
"Excuse me, my king?"
"My children need a mother, and Indis Noldotári - according to Námo - has declared that in all of her years yet she will not come back, until centuries have passed. Of my children, only Calwanossë has aged beyond her majority. Írimë Aranel, Arafinwë Cundu, and Faniel Aranel especially need a mother."
"I see."
"You will gain the power of a queen, and all the riches and luxury you can imagine. Your sister, her wife, and your nephew will also be sent monthly payments and raised to nobility."
Míriel pauses. "I want power. Give me authority, an actual position in court that is not just a silent support at your side."
Finwë raises an eye. "Unconventional, but it can be done."
"It will become the convention, husband."
"Very well."