Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

~ 21:27 ~

Nedzu created a new chat with 16 people

Nedzu changed 17 names

Devil Incarnate changed the chat name to ‘Humans and I’

Devil Incarnate

Welcome, one and all! :D

Coffee Blood

why

ScReEeEeEeEcH :D

WOO! GC!!!

┏( ◕ ▭ ◕ )┛

٩(︡> ᴗ<︠ԅ)

Howdy Bullseye

Honestly

Should’ve expected this sooner

CatWalk Slayer

Hell yeah!

Bout time!

Was gonna make one myself at this rate

Alucard

Oh god

Nem

Why would you give him this idea?

CatWalk Slayer

Cause we need one!!

Universe Destroyer

What’s this?

Oh!

A group chat!

Hey everyone!

Bob-omb Attractor

this both is and isn’t a surprise

and hey!

Maths a Lich

Hello all.

Heal Pulse

Hello dearies.

What have you created now, Nedzu?

Devil Incarnate

Simply a chat room!

I wish to converse with some of my favourite humans! :D

CatWalk Slayer

Hello everyone!

Awwwww!

We’re the favourites!

ScReEeEeEeEcH :D

WOOOO!!!!

GLAD TO BE A FAVOURITE OF THE RAT GOD!!

Bob-omb Attractor

it is a nice feeling

Alucard

But weird

Heal Pulse

I hope you know this won’t last.

Devil Incarnate

Oh, but I assure you it will! :)

Coffee Blood

im leaving

ScReEeEeEeEcH :D

Shou no!!

~ Coffee Blood left the group chat ~

~ Coffee Blood was added to the group chat ~

Coffee Blood

i repeat

why

Devil Incarnate

My apologies Shouta!

But once added, no one is allowed to leave! :)

Bob-omb Attractor

well damn

Alucard

Shit

Maths a Lich

Was expecting something like this honestly.

Coffee Blood

then you can find a broken window and me outside

CatWalk Slayer

Don’t be so dramatic, Shou!

Polygraph Done Right

I was wondering what all the buzzing was about.

ScReEeEeEeEcH :D

Dont leave your spouse all alone Shooooouuuuu!!!!!

ScReEeEeEeEcH :D has changed their name to Cecil Palmer

Cecil Palmer has changed Coffee Blood’s name to Coffee Blood (Carlos)

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

i dont really have a choice here…

Polygraph Done Right

I’m sure it won’t be that bad, Shouta.

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

you dont endure these dumbasses all day five days a week

sometimes even longer

Alucard

Fuck you too

Cecil Palmer

You love us, admit it!

Howdy Bullseye

You haven’t killed any of us yet

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

lock your windows

all of you

Maths a Lich

I am sufficiently scared.

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

good

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

This is new

Wait

Why am I here?

Devil Incarnate

Because I like you! :)

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Thank you??

Devil Incarnate

You’re welcome! :D

Polygraph Done Right

Sansa just full body shivered.

Alucard

I would too

Howdy Bullseye

Same

Scorched Earth

A group chat.

Y’all Need Therapy

Apparently so

Scorched Earth

So long as you don’t bother me, I don’t care.

Bob-omb Attractor

i’d rec muting it then

Scorched Earth

I’ll do just that then.

Cannibal

ooooo (ɔ ͡◕ ▿ ͡◕)ɔ

im a favouriet 2!!

wait

my name???

Scorched Earth

You eat chicken.

Constantly.

CatWalk Slayer

It’s like your main thing

Nyyyoooommm

I just got here and can agree

Also

Hey everyone!!

Cecil Palmer

HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOO TENNN!!!!!

Universe Destroyer

Hey!

Alucard

Yo

Y’all Need Therapy

Welcome.

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Every other time you interview, you have a bucket of chicken

You’re basically a walking sponsor

And you’ve barely been debuted

Cecil Palmer

^^

Cannibal

ykno wat

fair

Devil Incarnate

I thought it was quite fitting!

Cannibal

u right

Unknown

ummmm…

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

…

Cecil Palmer

…

CatWalk Slayer

…

Universe Destroyer

…

Alucard

…

Y’all Need Therapy

…

Unknown

i dont think i should be here…

Nyyyoooommm

…

Maths a Lich

…

Polygraph Done Right

…

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

…

Scorched Earth

…

Howdy Bullseye

…

Bob-omb Attractor

…

Unknown

damn

every1 with the dotssss

i feel spceiallll

Devil Incarnate

Well! What a surprise!

Scorched Earth

Isn’t this chat private?

Polygraph Done Right

And not for anyone of the public to know?

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

this wasnt intentional?

Devil Incarnate

:)

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

so it was

Alucard

Course it was

Bob-omb Attractor

it always is with Nedzu

Unknown

ummmmmm………..

shuld i leave??

Cecil Palmer

Sorry little listener

Buuuuuuut you can’t

Unknown

huhhhhhhh

welllllllll

Unknown changed their name to In Your Vents

Alucard

Huh

Bob-omb Attractor

interesting choice

In Your Vents

felt right

Cannibal

so true tho

Nyyyoooommm

Does feel right

Maths a Lich

It is correct in a way

In Your Vents

thnx!!

Devil Incarnate

Feel free to stick around!

It’ll be a pleasure to learn of this new individual! :D

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

dont act like you didnt intend this rat

Devil Incarnate

:)

In Your Vents

i rlly feel special now

CatWalk Slayer

As you should!

In Your Vents

awes

Scorched Earth

Are we not at all concerned about the civilian?

In Your Vents

wat

are yalls heroes or smth??

Cecil Palmer

YEPPPPP

Y’all Need Therapy

We are.

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Well, two of us aren’t

Excluding you

In Your Vents

AKFUHSKJGLSNDFKL

!!!

HOLY SHIT!!!

Nyyyoooommm

This is probably a dumb question

But you aren’t a villain, right?

In Your Vents

NOPE

JUST A FAMBOY CURRETNY FREAKONN OTU OMGGG G G

CatWalk Slayer

Awwwww

Cannibal

oooooo!!

idea!!!

no1 tell him who we r!!

Universe Destroyer

Oooh! Yes!

Bob-omb Attractor

could be fun

Cecil Palmer

I’m in!

Ya gotta guess us little listener!!

\( ◔ ω ◔ )/

In Your Vents

⊂( ͡⊙ ₒ͡⊙ )⊃

Devil Incarnate

A great idea! :D

I will have you know, however, that out intruder is quite the smart individual!

Scorched Earth

So you know who they are?

Devil Incarnate

:)

In Your Vents

:)

Bob-omb Attractor

i be the concerned

Alucard

Same

CatWalk Slayer

Can’t wait to see your guesses hun!!

But anyways

Welcome!

Y’all Need Therapy

Hello.

Universe Destroyer

Hey!

Howdy Bullseye

Howdy

Cecil Palmer

Glad to have ya listener!

In Your Vents

⊂( ㆆ ‿‿ ㆆ )⊃

im not use to thisssssss

this is wierd

but hello? ig

CatWalk Slayer

A simple hello is weird?

Heal Pulse

Are you alright, dear?

In Your Vents

yeahhhhhhh

ppl dont rlly like meee

Y’all Need Therapy

^

In Your Vents

nonono

no thnx

im all ggg

Howdy Bullseye

Ya sure?

Maths a Lich

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

In Your Vents

yepppp

absluotely

dotn mind me

gtg

bye

~ In Your Vents is offline ~

Cannibal

noooooooooooooooo

come backkkk!!

(╯ ಥ ▿ ಥ )╯

Universe Destroyer

Awe

They left so fast

Alucard

Well

Cecil Palmer

Ummm…

Scorched Earth

It is near midnight.

Give it a couple hours.

CatWalk Slayer

Yeah…

Ok

Universe Destroyer

Speaking of

Maths a Lich

Oh right.

Cecil Palmer

SHOOOUUUUU!!!

Your little vig is gonna be out!!

≧( ◔ ᴗ ◔ )≦

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

great

ill go get ready

Cannibal

no fairrrr!!!

(ง︡` ▿´︠)ง

i wanna meet the little fledgling!!

ive been hearing of them 4 months!!!

but no1 is telling me nythnggggggg

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

get your own

Cannibal

(ノㆆ ︹ ㆆ)ノ

Cecil Palmer

LOL

Shou doesn’t wanna share his kid

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

not my kid

Cecil Bladwin

Babe

Shou

Please

CatWalk Slayer

Honey

Ima need you to please read back your own messages and try again

Polygraph Done Right

Don’t even need my quirk for this.

Alucard

Lol suck it

CatWalk Slayer

See?

~ Coffee Blood (Carlos) is offline ~

Bob-omb Attractor

ROLF

Alucard

HA

Nyyyoooommm

He ran

Cannibal

u cant run 4ever!!

Cecil Palmer

I’ll be teasing him about this later, don’t worru

Universe Destroyer

How long ago was it now?

Howdy Partner

Half a year?

Maths a Lich

Hasn’t it been longer?

Cecil Palmer

Well, we think the vig has been around for about a year

But Shou’s been after them for a little over half a year

Shou is determined!!

It’s honestly so cute!!

<3 <3 <3

Universe Destroyer

Oh! Idea!

Cecil Palmer

Hit me

Universe Destroyer

Food!

CatWalk Slayer

GASP!

YES!

Cecil Palmer

OOOOOOOO

(ɔ ◕  ▭ ◕ )ɔ

I’ll get right to it!!

The little listener will not go hungry on my watch!!!

Cannibal

dont mind me taking notes…

Maths a Lich

You’ll have to fight for him.

Alucard

Are you that determined?

Shouta can be quite the hardass

Cecil Palmer

Don’t insult my wonderful husband!!

Cannibal

maube i will

Universe Destroyer

GL

Cannibal

i dont need luck

(╯ ¬︡ ▿ ¬︠ )╯┻━┻

just watch me

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Will he bring the vigilante in?

Polygraph Done Right

Honestly, I doubt it.

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

You’re probably right

CatWalk Slayer

If anything, it’ll be adoption papers

Polygraph Done Right

Should I start to fill out a sheet for him?

Cecil Palmer

Yes

Howdy Partner

Yes

Maths a Lich

Yes.

Bob-omb Attractor

Yes

Cannibal

NO!!

CatWalk Slayer

Yes

Y’all Need Therapy

Yes.

Polygraph Done Right

Got it.

Will do.

Cannibal

NO!!

Devil Incarnate

How lively! :D

Chapter Text

~ 11:03 ~

Humans and I

CatWalk Slayer

Theswes kids I swear

*These

Cecil Palmer

It is BASIC English!!

They shouldn’t be struggling so much!!!

What’s so hard about VERBS???

Howdy Bullseye

Swear I’m gonna shoot someone

And it’s not gonna be an accident

Cecil Palmer

Somerimes event heir Japanese sucks!!!

Alucard

Barely stopping myself from strangling someone

Bob-omb Attractor

hard agree

Maths a Lich

I’ve heard five explosions already.

Bob-omb Attractor

oh you don’t even know the half of it

i’m barely hanging on man

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

heh

Cecil Palmer

SHOOOOUUUUUU!!!

TT^TT

Alucard

You fucker

CatWalk Slayer

You’ve left us to hang!

Howdy Bullseye

The gun is pointed at ya

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

i have power

i use it

In Your Vents

lol so true king

abuse that power

CatWalk Slayer

Don’t encourage him!

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

i now have a favourite

Cecil Palmer

SHOOOOOUUUUUUU

HOW COULD YOUUUUUU!!!!!  

Alucard

You are so lucky the rat lets you do this

In Your Vents

whaddid he do?

Howdy Bullseye

Expelled his whole class

Again

In Your Vents

his whole class???

agaIN????

CatWalk Slayer

Yep

In Your Vents

ya know what??

i trust his jusdgmnt

Alucard

You shouldn’t

In Your Vents

you should

students sukkk

glad im doing online shizzz

Cecil Palmer

Valid

Bob-omb Attractor

wish i could teach online sometimes

In Your Vents

uni probs wouldn’t be anywher near as fun in person

CatWalk Slayer

Lucky!

You don’t have to deal with dumbass teens

Universe Destroyer

I’m not lookig forward to Sekijiro’s class coming in

Alucard

Trust me

Neither am I

Universe Destroyer

Oh god

In Your Vents

LMAO

rippp

Maths a Lich

Sometimes I think these students didn’t pass basic addition.

In Your Vents

ooooof

that bad??

Maths a Lich

Yes.

Do you know the Conjugate of a Complex Number?

Or at the very least the quadratic formula?

Please.

I need this.

In Your Vents

ye!!

yea I do!!

z = a +bi

a is real and b is imaginary

and quads is easy

x = −b ± √b²-4ac/2a

i got this shit down goooood

Maths a Lich

Thank fuck.

In Your Vents

the manadtroy math class is kinda funnn

helps me with ma hakinggg

Bob-omb Attractor

your what

In Your Vents

NOTHING

anywayssssss

ppl be dumb

Alucard

And we’re moving on

Alright

Cecil Palmer

OH!! LISTENER!!  

Uni offers a bunch of language classes yeah?

Are ya taking any??

In Your Vents

englush and spanish on the side

Cecil Palmer

HELL YEAH!!

ᕙ(>̀ ω ́<)ᕗ

CatWalk Slayer

Vents I hope you know you’re quickly becoming the chat fav

In Your Vents

O-o

Howdy Bullseye

You are far more likeable then any of these hromonal teens

Maths a Lich

You have brought me hope that maybe not everyone is lost.

But these ones certainly are.

Bob-omb Attractor

be thankful your kids aren’t constantly on the verge of death

one of these days someone will die

Universe Destroyer

I’ve had studtns almost drown or be crushed

Alucard

Are we making a bet on who kills someone first?

CatWalk Slayer

Sure lol

Why not

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

7000y on higari  

Cecil Palmer

LMAO

So quick!

Bob-omb Attractor

yeahhhhhh…

Cecil Palmer

6000 on Anan!

I remember being in that heat zone and almost passing out from heat stroke

Not fun

Do not recommend

Alucard

Almost drowned there once

Couldn’t touch bodies of water for weeks after

So 10000 on Anan

In Your Vents

ooof

Howdy Partner

5000 on Sekijiro snapping

Alucard

Oh I’m close

CatWalk Slayer

THen I’m betting 5000 on Shou

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

fair

In Your Vents

i know nothing

betting 7000 on bomb man!!

Maths a Lich

6000yen on Anan.

CatWalk Slayer

I’ll write this on the board

Alucard

Thak

*Thanks

~ Devil Incarnate is online ~

Cecil Palmer

oh shit

Devil Incarnate

I feel the need to remind you that lunch break is ending soon.

Please return to your classes as I don’t wish to dock anyone’s pay.

Cecil Palmer

OH SHIT

Bob-omb Attractor

BYE

Maths a Lich

Goodbye.

CatWalk Slayer

BYE!

Universe Destroyer

Cya!!

In Your Vents

ttyl!!!

~ Several people are offline ~

Devil Incarnate

That includes you, Shouta.

I have plenty of paperwork you need to complete! :)

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

dammit

In Your Vents

lol rip

byeee!!

~ Coffee Blood (Carlos) is offline ~

Devil Incarnate

Hello, Vents!

In Your Vents

hi!!!

Devil Incarnate

I fear your courses may not be as stimulation as you’d wish. Therefore, I have taken to liberty to email you a file of test I personally designed for my own personal students, though I unfortunately have none this year.

I believe you will enjoy it! :)

In Your Vents

OOOOOO

thank you nedzu!!!

Devil Incarnate

You are most welcome!

In Your Vents

ill get started on that soon!!

i—oop!!

gtg!

job calling!!

bye!!!

Devil Incarnate

Goodbye!

~ 23:23 ~

In Your Vents

OMFG

IM AN IDIOT

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

…

why?

CatWalk Slayer

???

Also

Why are you up?

Nyyyoooommm

What’s up?

In Your Vents

doesnt matter

@Cecil Palmer YOURE PRESENT MIC?????

HPW DID I NOT NOTICE SOONER?????

CatWalk Slayer

!!!

Universe Destroyer

!!!

Cecil Palmer

!!!

⊂ ( ◉ ▭ ◉ ) つ

You’re right!!

How’d you know??

In Your Vents

OMFG

I LOVE YOUR RADIO SHOW!!!

I ALWAUS LISTEN LIVEEEE

Cecil Palmer

!!!

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

i may not be home but i know zashi jist collpased

In Your Vents

ajhjdgkhldsghldsghl

i cant believe im talking with one of my favourie heros holy shit

frekjfj ojutt

Cannibal

!!

nice!!

u got it!!

Universe Destroyer

How???

In Your Vents

gimem a minnn

fsdghjk

CatWalk Slayer

Awww

Take your time hun!

Nyyyoooommm

Take some deep breaths!

In, count to seven, and out

In Your Vents

okie okie

i can breatheeee

air is good

yummt oxygen

aaanywaysss

Universe Destroyer

Spill!

Spill!!

In Your Vents

gonna take me a bit to write

hold on

Cecil Palmer

I am so excited!

\( >︡ ᴗ <︠ )/

In Your Vents

so, the biggest give away was you saying “little listener” and it only just clicked now as im listening to your radio show (love itttttt) and i heard it and remembered you using it in this chat, but before that theres not alot of heros who are openly out (but you are a gay non binary icon, luv you omg) so that narrowed it down and just earlier we were talking bout school and i know youre a teach so yeah (im not gonna look at uas roster to make this a little harder)

basic summary (ɔ>̀ ▿ ́<)ɔ

CatWalk Slayer

Good catch hun!

In Your Vents

also the name

Cecil Palmer

!!!

YOU KNOW??!!

In Your Vents

OFC!!!

ᕙ( ^ ▿ ^ )ᕗ

i love old internet stuff!!

CatWalk Slayer

Holy shit Zashi!

I heard that!

~ Maths a Lich and Y’all Need Therapy are online ~

Maths a Lich

??

Hizashi are you alright?

Y’all Need Therapy

It’s 11:30PM!!

Why the fuck are you screeching?!!

In Your Vents

ye that was loooooouuuudddd

Cecil Palmer

SORRY

IM JUST EMOTIONADJFLA

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

good job

you broke them

Cecil Palmer

IM CRYINGGG

LISTNERRRRRRRRRRRR

Cannibal

lmao gj

Nyyyoooommm

It’s been awhile since they last lost control of their quirk

I still remember high school

CatWalk Slayer

Oh god yeah

That was its own kind of hell

Nyyyoooommm

Swear I was going to lose my hearing at 16

Y’all Need Therapy

Try not to screech again.

Sleep is important.

Cecil Palmer

IM SORRY!!!

CatWalk Slayer

Yep

You broek him

You are definitely the fav Vents

In Your Vents

(✿ ◕ ▿ ◕ )

awes!!

Y’all Need Therapy

Just don’t do it again.

Cecil Palmer

ILL TRY

Im just do happppyyyyy!!!

⊂( ◓ ▭ ◓ )⊃

Thank you little listener!!!

Maths a Lich

Glad to know it’s not an emergency.

Goodnight all.

Nyyyoooommm

Goodnight!

In Your Vents

GN!!!

Cannibal

cya!

CatWalk Slayer

Nighty night!!

Cecil Palmer

Sorry!

Goodnight!

~ Y’all Need Therapy and Maths a Lich are offline ~

In Your Vents created a new chat with Cecil Palmer  

In Your Vents changed their name to Fre Sh A Voca Do

Fre Sh A Voca Do changed Cecil Palmer’s name to They Were Roommates

Fre Sh A Voca Do changed the chat name to ‘Power of God and Anime on my Side’

Fre Sh A Voca Do

hey!!

how you doing well im doing just fine

i lied

im dying inside

They Were Roommates

*Slides in*

Good evening

Fre Sh A Voca Do

heyyyy fellow memerrrrrrr!!!

They Were Roommates

YES

HEY

HELLOW ≧( ^ ᆽ^ ) ≦

Can I add someone else??

Fre Sh A Voca Do

sure!! \(>̀ ‿‿ ́<)/

They Were Roommates added Polygraph Done Right

They Were Roommates changed Polygraph Done Right’s name to Is That a Weed?

Fre Sh A Voca Do

hi thanks for checking in im still a piece of garbage

Is That a Weed?

My name is Michael with a B and I’ve been afraid of insects my entire—

Fre Sh A Voca Do

stop stop stop

where

Is That a Weed?

Hm?

Fre Sh A Voca Do

where’s the b

Is That a Weed?

There’s a bee??!

They Were Roommates

SAIL

Fre Sh A Voca Do

i love you guys

Is That a Weed?

This was worth waking up for.

They Were Roommates

Welcome fellow memer!!!!

We’re gonna have so much fun!

Fre Sh A Voca Do

yeeeeeeeee!!!!!

≧( ^̀ ▿ ^ )≦

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

they mustve created a personal chat

zashi would not shut up that easily

CatWalk Slayer

So right

Universe Destroyer

You know them so well

Cannibal

sounds bout right

Cecil Palmer

I’m so damn happy!!!! ≧( > ω < ) ≦

~ Polygraph Done Right is online ~

Polygraph Done Right

Shou, I must warn you, there will be more memes.

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

god dammit

CatWalk Slayer

LMAO Zashi found another one

Good luck Shou!

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

i will take the cats and leave

Cecil Palmer

NOOOOOOOOOOO

Cannibal

gasp!

not the cats!

CatWalk Slayer

How cruel!

In Your Vents

O-O

!!!

CATS?!!

Universe Destroyer

Oh no

Nyyyoooommm

??

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

you like cats?

In Your Vents

YES

OFC

WHO DOESNT

ILL FIGHT THEM!!! (ง ◔ - ◔ )ง

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

good

this is acceptable

zashi I will not leave

Cecil Palmer

THANK YOU LISTENERRRRR

MY MARRIAGE IS SAVED!!!

Cannibal

lol wat

Polygraph Done Right

Cats.

Nyyyoooommm

Cats

Universe Destroyer

Cats

Cannibal

fair

In Your Vents created a new chat with Coffee Blood (Carlos) and Cecil Palmer  

In Your Vents changed their name to Cheshire

Cheshire changed Coffee Blood (Carlos)’s name to Scar

Cheshire changed Cecil Palmer’s name to Aristocat  

Cheshire changed the chat name to ‘Cat Nation’

Aristocat

Gonna add Nem!!

Cheshire

go for it!!

Aristocat added CatWalk Slayer

Aristocat changed CatWalk Slayer’s name to Pink Panther

Pink Panther

Thank you!

Scar

*Image sent* // Photo of three cats, a black one, a tuxedo, and a white one, all curled up and sleeping //

*Image sent* // Same cats now staring up at the camera, the tux sticking its tongue out //

Cheshire

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW

≧( ♥ ▿ ♥ )≦

~ Cheshire has saved two images ~

Scar

meet moron, cretin and fool

*Image sent* // The cats fighting over a toy. Fool, the white one, is a blur //

~ Cheshire has saved an image ~

Cheshire

love the names

and not to be dramatic

i would die for them

Pink Panther

Welcome to the club!

We all would!

Aristocat

Do you have any cats, Vent?

Cheshire

not mine

but they drop by on occasion

*Image sent* // Two cats, a ginger and calico, eating from two bowls //

Pink Panther

AAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

♥ ♥ ♥

~ Aristocat, Pink Panther and Scar have saved an image ~

Scar

names?

Cheshire

pumpkin and noodle

*Image sent* // The cats are play fighting //

they are my bbys

*Image sent* // The cats melping at the camera //

Aristocat

(っ ♥ ₒ ♥ )っ🎔

Those names are purrfect!

They are purrfect!

I love them already!

~ Aristocat, Pink Panther and Scar have saved two images ~

Pink Panther

Give htem pets from us please!!

And treats!!

Aristocat

ALL THE TREATS!!!

Cheshire

ofc!!

٩(>̀ ω ́<)۶

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

adopt them

now

Cheshire

O^O

got it!!

Chapter Text

~ 9:03 ~

Animal Cryptids

Stoat Crypt

Hello Izuku! I would like your assistance with a little project of mine!

Owl Crypt

ooooooo

whassit this time???

Stoat Crypt

I believe you’d be quite amenable to it and believe it’ll be fun!

I’d like you to use your analyst abilities to create an information web.

Those of the underground may be willing to provide assistance should you market yourself as an open informant for all.

Owl Crypt

:O

its like you read my mindddd

ive been planning to do that forver now!!

now i have an excuse!!

Stoat Crypt

Glad to be of assistance!

I’ll be awaiting any results that may emerge :)

Owl Crypt

you just wanna see some chaos lmao

Stoat Crypt

But of course! It’s always entertaining :D

Owl Crypt

and i want it too!

lessgo!!!

~ 14:20 ~

Humans and I

In Your Vents

hey yall!!

im boreddddddddd

howz it goingggg??

Universe Destroyer

I’m going good!

Most people here can’t respond right now though

School and all

In Your Vents

right right

you dont have any classes?

Universe Destroyer

Nope

I have more specialised classes compared to the others

Though I’m usually called in for assistance during heroic lessons and whatnot

Otherwise, I’m on a different schedule to the others

In Your Vents

coolllll cool

i really wanna ask questions but i still gotta guessssss

Universe Destroyer

You can still ask questions!

I’d be happy to answer! So long as it’s not about my quirk, as that’ll give it away immediately

In Your Vents

!!!

okie

so ummm

~ Cannibal, Nyyyoooommm and Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat are online ~

Cannibal

heyyyyyy!!!

wassup?

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Hi

Nyyyoooommm

Hey!

In Your Vents

heyo yall!!

(ɔ ◑ ▿ ◑ )ɔ

Universe Destroyer

Hello!

Glad some others are on!

Nyyyoooommm

I’m currently on break

Cannibal

boring paperwork can wait

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

^^

Both

In Your Vents

awes

i can ask more questionsssss

what kinda heros are yall?

not like lime twilight or under

Universe Destroyer

I’m a rescue hero!

That’s actually what I teach at UA

The heroics teachers focus on combat and learning the ins and outs of being in the fight

So I teach the rescue side of things!

In Your Vents

noiccccceeee

more heros shud take your classes then

wayyyyy too many vids of heroes ignoring civilians

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

That is far too true

Nyyyoooommm

Unfortunately

Universe Destroyer

Unfortunately, yeah

That’s actually why Nedzu employed me!

In Your Vents

ooooohhh??

Universe Destroyer

Yep!

Thought there was a little struggle with the HPSC

Cannibal

( ◔ - ◔ )

ofc

Universe Destroyer

Yeah…

But, despite the many close instances of students almost dying due to not paying attention, it’s a fun and rewarding job!

Cannibal

me next!!

In Your Vents

go off king!

Cannibal

tyty

im a battle hero!!

right in the middle of the action!!

tho i do evacuation too

Nyyyoooommm

You haven’t been a hero long though

Cannibal

tru tru

villains just be like taht ig

In Your Vents

villain attractor??

Cannibal

they luv me ♥̀

In Your Vents

mood tho

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

That’s not a good thing

Cannibal

¯\_(◐̀ ▿ ́◐)_/¯

Nyyyoooommm

I guess I’m up

I’m a battle hero too

Though I guess most heroes you see will be

Though I do also do a lot of evacuation myself, and am occasionally on rescue duty

In Your Vents

true tru

most wanna be battle heroes

safety rescue and evacuation heros dont get enuogh luv

Nyyyoooommm

They don’ tand thye should

@Universe Destroyer we love you

In Your Vents

we love you!! ♥̀ ♥̀

Cannibal

we luv u!! ♥̀ ♥̀

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

All police love and respect you greatly

Universe Destroyer

Aww thanks!!

I love you all too!

In Your Vents

bext quest!!

on a scale of papercut to death how dangerous would yall consider yurselvs??

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

That escalated quickly

Cannibal

uhhhhhhhh

lost limbs

In Your Vents

ooooooo dangerrrrr

Nyyyoooommm

Blunt force trauma??

Maybe??

Universe Destroyer

Death

Cannibal

dammmnnnnn

do not pisso ff the rescue hero

Universe Destroyer

:D

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

My username says a lot, so I’ll just go with it

Cat scratch

Take that how you will

In Your Vents

can gouge out eyes

got it

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Sure

In Your Vents

awes

next!!

thoughts on vigis?? ┏( ◐ ₃ ◐ )┛

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Mostly positive

We’ve received plenty of tips and help from vigilantes

They make some arrests very easy

Cannibal

they chill

Nyyyoooommm

I would preger for them to stop, but they have been helpful

But I velive they should go through the proper hero courses

Universe Destroyer

^^

In Your Vents

cool cool

one more!!

Cannibal

1 more!!

In Your Vents

ye ye

so

do yall wanna be on hizashis radio show??

Nyyyoooommm

They have asked me before, but I’m not sure at this point

Cannibal

SIGN ME TF UP!!

In Your Vents

such different energy lolll

Universe Destroyer

I wouldn’t mind being on if he asked

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Don’t think I could since I’m just an officer

Nyyyoooommm

I might reconsifer…

We’ll see

Cannibal

what if we all go on 2gether??

Universe Destroyer

Could be fun!

Nyyyoooommm

Maybe

In Your Vents

okkkkk

okie okie

i think I have uni des figured but idkkkk

Universe Destroyer

Oh?

Please tell me your guess!

In Your Vents

judging by yur name and that yuo are a rescue hero

and with evythng you just stated aboveeeee

im guessing 13??

Universe Destroyer

Correct!!

You got it!

In Your Vents

WOOOO!!

hell yeah!! ٩(︡> ▿<︠)۶

Nyyyoooommm

Good job!

Cannibal

woo!! \(◔̀ ▿ ́◔)/

*confetti*

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

You are scarily good at this

But good job

In Your Vents

:D

the death helped

black hole is s ocool!!!

Universe Destroyer

Glad you think so!

In Your Vents

i have so many questions bout ti!!!!!!

ima message you priv

Universe Destroyer

Go right ahwad

In Your Vents

yeeeeee

Nyyyoooommm

Do you know anyone else?

In Your Vents

i have a feeeewwww guesses

but!!

ima hod onto them for now

keep it a suprrise for evyone

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Ominous

Universe Destroyer

Don’t keep us waiting too long!

Cannibal

i need 2 no!!!!

In Your Vents

hehehe

all in time my friends

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

I’m not religious but I pray for whoever is ext

~ 22:15 ~

Sun & Moon

Sun Radio

Hey love

Did you remember to take the bento?

Moon Snare

i did

thank you

im sure whirl will like it

Sun Radio

I hope so!!

Tell me what happens in the morning

I love hearing you talk about your kid

Moon Snare

zashi

Sun Radio

Don’t try and say otherwise

You obviously care about the kid

And I do too!!

I can’t wait to meet them myself

Moon Snare

dont get your hopes up

kid is still skittish

Sun Radio

I know, I know

I can wait

I can shower them in love when they are officially our kid!

Moon Snare

sigh

Sun Radio

Don’t you sigh your husband!!

I’m going to adopt them too! ≧( ◕̀ ᴗ ́◕ )≦

Moon Snare

talk to masa then

hell be happy to help

Sun Radio

Will do

I know he will

Moon Snare

i see the kid

talk more tomorrow

Sun Radio

Good night! Love you!! ♥̀ ♥̀

Moon Snare

love you too

Shouta tucked away his phone. Tonight, he carried an extra bag with him that held the stated bento Hizashi had made. He stood from his crouch and started running, jumping across a few roofs to the lone silhouette standing prone on a store roof. The large wings wrapped idly around their form spoke to who they were.

Shouta landed in a roll before pushing himself up to face the kid. “Problem child.”

“Eraser! What’s up?” A mask and visor greeted him, hiding any identifiable features.

Their wings a mottled mix of greens, blacks and dark browns unfurled to settle at their back. They seemed to almost sparkle under the moonlight. Shouta idly wondered how similar the wings were to Hawks’. There were so few avian quirks within Japan to bother researching and any interest he held only developed with the appearance of Whirlwind.

He had more time now thanks to expelling another class. He could only hope that he’d get a competent class one of these years, but this year wasn’t it. Maybe now that he had more time (so long as the rat didn’t torture him with more useless paperwork) he could finally do some avian research.

“Nothing really. Dealing with idiots again.”

“The usual then.” The mechanical mask filtered and distorted the voice as the kid chuckled. It still sounded so strange, but he’d mostly gotten used to it. “Well, there’s more of the usual coming right up!”

Shouta groaned, much to Whirlwind’s amusement. “Before we go, here.” He pulled out the bento and held it out. “’Zashi wanted to make sure you were eating.”

“Free food! Gold star to your husband, hell yeah.” They happily took the offered box and sat down. They furled a wing around them, shielding them from his eyes to eat. He did notice how they swung their legs that hung over the ledge, and he could only think that this kid was truly just that; a kid.

(A kid who he can say is better than a lot of those U.A. pumps out. And what an unfortunate statement that is.)

He expected the kid to hide and simply turned his gaze away, respecting that. At least Hizashi would be happy to hear that the kid was eager. This would probably become a regular thing now, though Hizashi would no doubt be happy to keep cooking. In the back of his mind, Shouta thought that maybe the kid wasn’t eating right, but he ignored that thought for now until proven otherwise.

The kid let out a satisfied noise and stood, handing back the now empty box. “I now love your spouse and you are so lucky to have them. That was amazing.”

Shouta hid a smile in his capture gear as he bagged the box. “I’ll tell them you said that.” He set the bag down and marked the location on his phone. “Let’s get started.”

“Woo! Let’s go!”

The kid stretched out their wings and, with a mighty flap, took to the skies. Shouta tugged at his capture gear and began his patrol proper. The kid was near silent above him, but the gentle breeze against his face and hair let him know they were following.

Hopefully, it would be a peaceful night.

“AAAHHHHHHH!!”

…Who’s he kidding. With the kid, it never is.

Chapter Text

~ 3:19 ~

Humans and I

In Your Vents

omg i hate ppl

you come in here

make a mess

expect me to not kick yoru ass

fucker broke my coffee machine!!!

and tore up the boohts!!!

dick

~ 3:37 ~

In Your Vents

bruh

hey google

hows one fix ribs

cuz owww

fuckin hell

hes lucky im nice enough

bitch

~ 3:55 ~

In Your Vents

im just tryna run a bisenus

i do not want to be the one with security

mybe i gotta do smthhhh

ideas go!!

mehhhhhh

hmmmmmmmmmm

~ 4:42 ~

In Your Vents

mbye I should take another courseeeee

metal weilding or smth

cud be fun

but I rlly dont wana fix the coffee machine againnnn

~ 5:18 ~

In Your Vents

stg ima stab a bitch

~ Coffee Blood (Carlos) is online ~

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

go to bed

In Your Vents

oh shit

gn!

~ In Your Vents and Coffee Blood (Carlos) are offline ~

~ 7:37 ~

Maths a Lich

@In Your Vents why were you up so late?

Cannibal

who we killin?

Howdy Bullseye

No murder so early

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

some fucker broke a coffee machine

Howdy Bullseye

Who we killing?

In Your Vents

LMAO

alreay kiccked the assholes ass

and fixed the machine

@Maths a Lich i be a nightowlllll

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

good

Heal Pulse

Dearie, are you alright?

In Your Vents

oop

uhhh

Heal Pulse

If you haven’t already, please put some ice on your ribs. And check if you are bruising. Any intense bruising or swelling, coupled with difficulty breathing and pain, may indicate heavily fractures or broken ribs.

In Your Vents

i iced them

strapped some shiz to me

im goooood

Heal Pulse

Are you still in any pain? If so, I’d recommend going to the hospital, just to be sure nothing is wrong. Please be gentle with any prodding.

In Your Vents

brely any pain

yeahhhhhh nahhhhhhh

i dont rlly

gel

with hosptials

Cannibal

mood

Heal Pulse

So long as you are alright and don’t stress anything. Keep your chest iced until any bruising or swelling lessens.

In Your Vents

ill do my bestest rg!

Howdy Bullseye

??

You’re right

In Your Vents

YES!!!

KNEW IT

Cannibal

┏( ' ▿ ' )┛

Maths a Lich

Nedzu wasn’t kidding.

In Your Vents

hehe

so!

behold my magnificnce!!

recovery girl just seems likie someone nedzu would respect (deserved) and with the name specifying a kiss (ye i know it just a thng, idc) i thought it might be related to her quirk! also ive seen many vids and intervews wirth her to learn mannerisms like “dearie” and how much of a caring person she is to even care about me a stranger

you give really good advice

preesh

also is was kinda a guess and now im happy

im right!

take that world!!

Cannibal

woo!

u go vents!!

In Your Vents

ty!!

ty!!

Maths a Lich

I am both awed and a little scared.

In Your Vents

hehe :)

Howdy Bullseye

Concerned

But impressed

But going back

~ Several people are online ~

CatWalk Slayer

Hey all!!

Cecil Palmer

YO!

Wazzup!

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

contemplating murder

Cecil Palmer

WhAT WHY??

Alucard

What’s new?

Universe Destroyer

??

Oohhhhhh

Yeah, no, I understand now

Nyyyoooommm

Vents, what happened?

Cecil Palmer

Ok, got it

VENTS WHAT???

CatWalk Slayer

Uhhhh not good

Glad you fixed things, but still

In Your Vents

welllllllll

Nyyyoooommm

Sounded pretty serious

Everything alright?

In Your Vents

heh yeah

all g

Howdy Bullseye

Sure

CatWalk Slayer

But what happened??

In Your Vents

soooooo

Bob-omb Attractor

this’ll be good

In Your Vents

some dumbass decifed to break into my job place

first of

rude

second

he didn’t follow my rules

decided to fuck around and fund out

so he dound out

trashed some stuff borke a few things

gotta pay for all that shit smh

so I decided to beat him up (ง ◣ ︹ ◢ )ง

Scorched Earth

You were well within your right.

Cannibal

hell yeah!!!

(ง ◉ 皿 ◉ )ง

In Your Vents

exactly

i got kicked in the chest

but kicked him otu bloody

he aint gonna be back anytime soon

Nyyyoooommm

That’s good

But if you need to, you can call us

Universe Destroyer

Yeah!

I may be a rescue hero, but I’d be happy to help!

Scorched Earth

If I’m in the area.

Howdy Bullseye

My guns are ready

Cannibal

ill swoop in w/ a sickass kick!!

Heal Pulse

So long as none of you end up with injuries.

Nyyyoooommm

Yes ma’am!

In Your Vents

ima cry yall

this is too much

Scorched Earth

We’re heroes.

We’ll help where we’re needed.

CatWalk Slayer

Aww hun!

Take your time!

We’re here if and when you need us!

Bob-omb Attractor

also if you need something fixed up

any more broken machines, i’m here

though i would suggest looking into a few courses if you’re interested

In Your Vents

you guyssssss

ima need a min omgggg

Izuku put down his phone.

He felt like screaming and jumping about and just burning off all the energy he was feeling. To think he, someone not even his parents wanted, could gain the attention of people (heroes!!!) who actually cared. They don’t even know him! But despite that major blockade, they still showed care!

What a foreign concept!

Ding!

He was shaken from his stupor as the café door opened, one of his morning regular’s coming in. He’d prepared her coffee and muffin order earlier and was quick to bring it over as she found a seat.

“Morning, Miss Higa! Are you feeling better today?”

“Oh yes, I’m quite alright now dear. Thank you.”

“That’s good. I hope your kids were treating you well.”

She sighed fondly. “You know how kids are.”

Izuku chuckled lightly.

The little bell above the door jingled again as a few more regulars came in. He was quick to get them all settled. After a long night (with Eraserhead! Oh he is still ecstatic that Eraserhead willing lets him tag along now to fight crime!) of apprehending would-be villains and stopping legitimate crimes, (he is not ready to meet Tsukauchi face to face yet, hell no) he was glad for the calming café atmosphere.

He got to stretch his wings and practice new moves all together and it was always exhilarating. But here? Here was home in a nice little café for all. And he meant that literally. It’s still surprising that people actually come in despite being prominent villains, and yet they’re respectful of his place. He’s only had to kick out the occasional idiot, but otherwise, he’d welcome the literal Yakuza with open arms.

He may have just jinxed himself with that…

Oh well!

That’s for future Izuku to deal with.

Current Izuku is preparing a large black coffee for the coming Underground Hero whom seems to live off of them. He stepped into the back kitchen to rummage through the fridge for a pre-made sandwich; lord knows the Hero doesn’t eat as much as he should. Returning to the front, it only took another minute for said Hero to enter, looking dead on his feet like always.

“Morning, Aizawa!” He smiled bright.

AIzawa squinted his eyes. “…It’s too early for this shit.” He pulled out his wallet and fished around for some cash as Izuku placed the to-go cup and paper-bag on the counter. Seeing this, he lifted a brow.

“Just a simple salmon, cream cheese sandwich, on the house. Will this be all?” He rung up the coffee.

“A medium latte with two sugars.”

Izuku was quick the whip it up. “For your spouse, right?”

Aizawa just grunted, but he knew it was right. He rung up the latte and Aizawa paid.

“Thank you. Stay out of trouble.”

He left, leaving Izuku to set up his laptop to work on his online courses. While the café was quiet with idle chatter, he was able to get work done with ease. Some of it was more challenging than normal, which he appreciated, so it took a little longer than normal.

He felt an itch under his skin where his wings had retracted. He’d gotten used to it at this point, having hid his wings for most of his life (the name 'Soul Wings' was very apt, freely coming and going at will). Only now with spending his times as local vigilante “Whirlwind” does he let his wings free. It has the added bonus of hiding his identity, which is great. Though with the upcoming UA exams, that may change.

Speaking of…

He needed to hire someone to take over the café, which was much harder than he initially thought. Maybe he should work on my informant identity instead.

He tabbed out of his current work to open a few programs. Setting up the site was easy, the hard part was coming up with a name. He always wondered how long it took for heroes to come up with their names, and how many regretted them. Same with villains. Lizard Axe? Gigglehaunt? God damn Nocturnal?!

No, no, no. He can’t go with something stupid like ‘Giant Villain’ or ‘Gorilla’ (oh how he was close to breaking his skull seeing those names). He needs something fancy. Something mysterious like ‘Thousand Eyes’ or intimidating like the more recent ‘Overhaul’.

(Should he look up the Yakuza? Maybe sometime later.)

(And the domino falls.)

He pulled out a notebook to start on some ideas. The notebook already had his currently vigilante persona, Whirlwind, and everything that came with it. All the gear and the nature of his quirk which he is still studying in depth.

A metal mask with a built in voice changer that could retract back to his ears, with a visor to hide his eyes that connected to it, a dark green hooded jacket lined with electric green with extra armoured padding for stab resistance. Electric green gloves spiced with electricity and quirk suppressant taken from stolen cuffs. (Sorry Tsukauchi! It was just too tempting.) Underneath the jacket was a black turtleneck, baggy black slacks with many pockets filled with knives and medical aid and ending in steel-toed black boots. There were thin slits in the turtleneck and jacket for his wings, and altogether, it was warm and actually comfortable.

He skipped past all those notes and drawings to a blank page further in and started writing down whatever came to mind. ‘Derision’, ‘Remix’, ‘Quantum’, ‘Canary’, and ‘Overseer’. He wrote ‘Fukurō’ down as well, looking at any possible combinations. He tapped his lip in thought for a few moments before he heard a voice call his name.

Right, he still had work to do.

~ 17:24 ~

Humans and I

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

sekijiro

if you dont rein in your class i will

Alucard

Please don’t

Ryou has enough to deal with

Y’all Need Therapy

I would prefer less traumatised students.

Howdy Bullseye

I think we all would

Cecil Palmer

Chiyo has lectured me too much recently

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

then do something

i dont have enough restraint to stay vigil

Alucard

I can only do so much

I’m not you

I’m not about to expel everyone

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

try it

CatWalk Slayer

Shou, I think you’re the only one who can get away with doing that

Cecil Palmer

Shou, babe, I love you, but no

Howdy Bullseye

Any more class expulsions an’ things would go to shit

Nyyyoooommm

I’m honestly already worried for my little brother

He’ll be wanting to get into the hero course

Scorched Earth

You can always put him through the recommendation exam as I plan to with Shouto.

Nyyyoooommm

I don’t think that’ll be enough for Shouta though…

CatWalk Slayer

It won’t be

Cecil Palmer

He’s pissed off more than enough heroes with that

Shou is the epitome of not caring

Alucard

Yeah…

Devil Incarnate

I apologise, but I cannot allow that to happen. If everyone were to take your stance with expelling whole classes, we wouldn’t be a very good school.

I may trust your judgement, Shouta, but that doesn’t mean I’m not disappointed whenever you do expel whole classes. I do hope that you’ll have a class, or at least a few students, that’ll impress you one of these years.

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

maybe if youd change the damn exam i wouldnt have so many problems

Devil Incarnate

And as I’ve explained before, the HPSC needs to approve such a change and they are very rigid in their ways. I’ve brought it up to them before and was rejected instantly. I doubt they would’ve changed minds much in just two short years.

Cannibal

yeahhhhhhhhhh

hpsc ruining all the fun again

t(≖̀ - ́≖t)

whats new

Alucard

Can you say that?

You directly work for them

Cannibal

isnt this gc priv?

from like every1??

Devil Incarnate

Correct!

Feel free to say anything you want here! No one outside will be able to see anything that goes on here :)

Cannibal

see ^^

Alucard

Huh, cool

Fuck the HPSC

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

fuck the hpsc

Howdy Bullseye

Fuck the HPSC

Cecil Palmer

FUCK THE HPSC!!

Y’all Need Therapy

Fuck the HPSC.

Nyyyoooommm

Fuck the HPSC

CatWalk Slayer

Fuck the HPSC!

Scorched Earth

Fuck the HPSC.

Cannibal

hell yeah

FUCK THE HPSC!!!!

Devil Incarnate

So, until I can convince the HPSC president to either allow me full control over U.A. or the ability to change the exam to my own specification, it will remain unchanged.

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

then i will continue to expel my classes until i find someone competent enough to teach

i will not teach those unfit for hero work

Cannibal

valid tho

Devil Incarnate

I understand that, which is why I allow you to do so.

However, I have an inkling that next year’s potential students will be more to your standards, Shouta :)

Alucard

Now I’m scared

Cecil Palmer

Oh no

CatWalk Slayer

Oh god what does that mean???

Howdy Bullseye

This year will end too soon

We’re already three weeks in

Time is flowing fast

Y’all Need Therapy

I’ll have to open some slots.

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

hmm

well see

Cannibal

i now fear 4 these kids ( ° - ° )

Nyyyoooommm

Me too

Scorched Earth

I am now very glad I rejected your proposal for teaching.

Devil Incarnate

The position is still available should you change your mind :)

Scorched Earth

This chat is enough.

Howdy Bullseye

Consider yourself lucky

~ Polygraph Done Right and Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat are online ~

Polygraph Done Right

We have a situation down by the Musutafu local hospital.

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

We count 5 villains

More obnoxious then dangerous

Polygraph Done Right

Other heroes are dealing with villains at the mall and evacuating civilians.

CatWalk Slayer

Got ti!!

Y’all Need Therapy

Got it.

Cecil Palmer

Coming!!

Howdy Bullseye

We’ll be there soon

Alucard

On our way

Polygraph Done Right

Thank you.

~ Several people are offline ~

Devil Incarnate

I trust that they’ll wrap up the situation quickly as you all still have plenty of paperwork to complete.

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

its times like these that i wish that café were open at this time

i need some good coffee right now

Devil Incarnate

Is the coffee in the staff room not to your liking?

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

its tolerable

Nyyyoooommm

What café do you go to?

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

no

Nyyyoooommm

???

Cannibal

wat u mean no??

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

i will not have others overrunning the place

so no

Scorched Earth

Is the coffee there that good?

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

yes so back off

Nyyyoooommm

What times is it open?

Seems weird that it’s closed now

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

its a safe zone for vigis heros and villains alike so its open early

1am to 4pm

Cannibal

huh cool

Scorched Earth

I’ve yet to hear of incidents revolving around cafes.

Strange that it seems to work.

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

its been running for over a year and a half

very few incidents

the patrons usually deal with anything

Nyyyoooommm

Huh

Now I’m really curious

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

again

no

Cannibal

TT^TT

Devil Incarnate

Shouta is very particular about his coffee it seems!

I always see you come in with a particular takeaway cup.

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

back

off

Devil Incarnate

:)

Chapter Text

~ 15:37 ~

Humans and I

In Your Vents

sssoooooooooo

Bob-omb Attractor

oh no

In Your Vents

i may or may not have gotten into a fight

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

what did you do

Cecil Palmer

Are you hurt little listener?

Howdy Partner

Who needs to be shot?

In Your Vents

no no im fine

just some bullies (ง◉̃ ᴗ◉̃)ง

i may or may not have committed some crimes

Polygraph Done Right

Okay…

In Your Vents

they deserved itttt

stupid bullies

Nyyyoooommm

Concerning

Cecil Palmer

But fair

In Your Vents

no one will know

no one does know

nohtnig needs to be known

so dont ask

Howdy Bullseye

Not exactly inspiring confidence here

Cannibal

ya no wat

i like u already

In Your Vents

thank you! ≧( > ▿ < ) ≦

i like you too!!

on a completely unrelated noteeeee

i have some questionsssss

Nyyyoooommm

Such as…?

In Your Vents

does it count as kidnapping if two kids follow me back home even thuohg i told them to leave??

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

No??

Polygraph Done Right

Unless you coerced them, no.

In Your Vents

coooooollllll

cool cool

cuz these kids aernt leaving

CatWalk Slayer

Do you want them to?

In Your Vents

idkkk

lemme ask them smth

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Should we be concerned?

Polygraph Done Right

For our own sanity, probably.

Bob-omb Attractor

absolutely

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Please no more paper work…

In Your Vents

okie

so

Cecil Palmer

This’ll be good

In Your Vents

1 hates their home

the other is just bored

i think hes a rich kid

wants to avoid tutros

tbh fair

most of my teachers sukkkkkkddddd

do relate

Cannibal

:0

mine did 2!!

In Your Vents

you are now my buddy

Cannibal

yisssssss

Polygraph Done Right

Going back.

Why does one kid hate their home?

In Your Vents

uuuuummmmmmmmm

dont thik he wants me to sayyyy

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

that in itself is telling

In Your Vents

you didnt hear it form me

next questtttttt

uhhhhhhhhh

does it becoming kidnapping if I agree to let them stay with me??

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

No??

They came on their own, so

In Your Vents

awes

they are now my fwiends

Nyyyoooommm

Good??

In Your Vents

i dont have many frends

so ye

Cannibal

IM UR FRIEND!!

In Your Vents

\( ◕ ▭ ◕ )/

YAYYYYY!!!!

FRIENDSSSSSS

Cannibal

FRIENDSSSSSSSSS

In Your Vents

last ques

Howdy Bullseye

For now

In Your Vents

ye

ssso

hypothetically

will i be charged with arson if i were to accidentially set a bitchs hoiuse on fire??

Polygraph Done Right

…what.

Cecil Palmer

LMFAO

SCREECHING

CatWalk Slayer

OMFG HAHAHAH

Howdy Bullseye

I fucking snorted

what

Cannibal

ILL HELP U GET AWAY WITH IT!!

In Your Vents

Thnx! <3

BUT HYPOTHTIECALLY

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

ill look away this once

CatWalk Slayer

LOL SHOU

Howdy Bullseye

Hizashi just collapsed

Universe Destroyer

WHEEZING

WTF

CatWalk Slayer

CAN WE KEEP HIM???

Cecil Palmer

PLEASEEEEEE

Nyyyoooommm

Struggling to breeaaaatuuu

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

he can’t leave

Cecil Palmer

WERE KEEPING YOU VDENTS

In Your Vents

aw yis

parental units aquired

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

No longer choking

What???

Yes????? You would????

In Your Vents

damn

CatWalk Slayer

LMAO you really wanna huh?

Polygraph Done Right

I don’t really want to ask this, but.

…Why do you want to commit arson?

In Your Vents

for a friend

for reasons

Universe Destroyer

Understandable, have a nice day

CatWalk Slayer

I’m totes on board

Y’all Need Therapy

Nemuri…

CatWalk Slayer

What?

Can I not support a vindictive act in the name of friendship??

Cecil Palmer

Do you know us??

Y’all Need Therapy

I have two open slots available.

I’ll be signing both you up.

Cecil Palmer

NOOOOOOOOOO

I WAS DOING GOOD THOOOOOOO

CatWalk Slayer

WHYYYYY

Howdy Bullseye

Heh

Bob-omb Attractor

you’ve had it too good

Heal Pulse

I would rather refrain from entertaining this thought.

However, if someone is hurt or in danger, please inform me.

Devil Incarnate

Much appreciated, Ryou!

Y’all Need Therapy

After we commit a few crimes.

Cecil Palmer

YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

CatWalk Slayer

LETS GO RYOU!!

Heal Pulse

Ryou...

In Your Vents

i luv yall already

but this was hypothetical

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

thats changed kid

In Your Vents

im not complaining

awes

ill keep it in mind

Bob-omb Attractor

so we’re not committing arson??

In Your Vents

mybe laterrrrr

depends

for now

can i give coffee to a kid?

Y’all Need Therapy

No.

Cecil Palmer

What no!

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

sure

Universe Destroyer

No!

In Your Vents

hhhhhhmmmmmmmm

idkkkkkk

Heal Pulse

Please do not give coffee to a child. It’ll only do harm.

In Your Vents

awwwwwweeeee

okie i wont rg

CatWalk Slayer

Thank you Chiyo!

Howdy Bullseye

Ya’ve saved one

Nyyyoooommm

Thank god

In Your Vents

lol dramatic much

wat about an energy drink??

Heal Pulse

Acceptable in moderation. Do not let it become a habit or it will become an unhealthy addiction, and children are more susceptible then adults.

In Your Vents

got it!!

thnx!!

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Are you equipped to look after a child?

Let alone two?

Polygraph Done Right

It would be preferable for them to both be home.

In Your Vents

i fot it i got it

not like im adoptng them

Cannibal

u say that now

In Your Vents

hey

i aint shouta

Cannibal

¯\_( ͡° ▿ ͡°)_/¯

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

…

Cecil Palmer

HA

You can’t deny it Shou!

The papers are already ready!

Bob-omb Attractor

hizashi

~ Coffee Blood (Carlos) is offline ~

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Uh oh

Bob-omb Attractor

i’d run if I were you

Cecil Palmer

Play “Kamikaze” by Walk the Moon at my funeral  

~ Cecil Palmer is offline ~

CatWalk Slayer

Rip

Howdy Bullseye

Rip

Nyyyoooommm

Rest in peace

In Your Vents

RIP

Cannibal

lol rip

Bob-omb Attractor

rip

Universe Destroyer

Will you cover up this murder?

@Polygraph Done Right @Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Polygraph Done Right

Seems we have to.

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

We won’t tell a soul

CatWalk Slayer

Thank you

~ 22:37 ~

Animal Crypts

Owl Crypt

be ready to be amazde!!

ontroducing the new infromant on the market

furixion!!

*air horns*

Stoat Crypt

Wonderful! :D

Owl Crypt

ty ty

Stoat Crypt

Will you be sharing with me the site you’ve made?

Owl Crypt

ofc gimme a sec

welcome to the mayhem!!

canaryseer.net !!

evrything is set up and ready!!

Stoat Crypt

Excellent! :D

I hope this will become a fruitful endeavour. Please inform me of any major developments that may be upturned.

Owl Crypt

will do!

oooooo

should i dig up some dirt on the hpsc??

i can find a lottttt

Stoat Crypt

Please do. I will take great pleasure in shutting their operation down.

The current president has become far too comfortable in her position.

Owl Crypt

heheh

gimme a few weeks to sort it all

gonna make my magnum opus!!!

Stoat Crypt

I’ll be awaiting the results! :)

Chapter Text

~ 13:29 ~

Human and I

Bob-omb Attractor

finally lunch break

Alucard

About damn time…

CatWalk Slayer

Days without incident

0

Bob-omb Attractor

it’s always 0 here

Cecil Palmer

I think I counted another 5 explosions today??

Bob-omb Attractor

11 actually

a few more prone to explosins moved to the soud proof room

i now need a new sound proof room

Alucard

Aren’t those built to withstand a nuke?

Bob-omb Attractor

i said what i said

Cecil Palmer

Don’t mind me as I avoid your section

CatWalk Slayer

I think they’ll be fine if I skip a few lessons

Bob-omb Attractor

when can i get sick so i can leave

Cannibal

damn lol

that bad huh??

Bob-omb Attractor

you jave no idea

11 explosions and it’s only just lunch

and that’s only todcay

i swear theres been over 70 in this week alone

Cecil Palmer

It’s Wednesday…

Bob-omb Attractor

exactly

Alucard

Would now be a bad time to say some kids have wreaked their her ogear?

Bob-Attractor

…

Cannibal

i felt that restrained scream sigh from here

yall rlly do need that therapist

Bob-omb Attractor

and i grow gladder each year that Nedzu hired him

Cecil Palmer

Frfr

CatWalk Slayer

So true

Alucard

I hate so much the rat does, but this

This was needed

Cannibal

i can tell

~ In Your Vents is online ~

In Your Vents

heyo ma ppl!!!

Cecil Palmer

Yo little listener!!

Cannibal

my friend has arrived!!

<3

In Your Vents

<3

yeeeeee!!!

Bob-omb Attractor

please don’t bring any more choas

im begging

Alucard

He will become a bomb himself at this rate

In Your Vents

then a distraction i shall bring!!

Bob-omb Attractor

thank fuck

CatWalk Slayer

Whatcha got hun?

In Your Vents

i have several hero guesses!!!

Bob-omb Attractor

hit us

Cannibal

go off!!

Cecil Palmer

Woo!!

Let’s go!

In Your Vents

be amazed!!

be very amzed!!!

cannibal!!

you are hawks!!!!

Cannibal

┏(︡ '  ▿ '︠ )┛

ur right!!

In Your Vents

yisssssss!!

heres the expo!!

Cecil Palmer

Let’s see that geunies!!

CatWalk Slayer

Ironic

But let’s go!

In Your Vents

you mentioned befroe that youre a new debut which narrowed it ommedialy then i remembered the mentiion of constant chicken eating in interviews so i serched around and BOOM!!

hawks!!

Cannibal

u got it fledgling!!

In Your Vents

yissssss

CatWalk Slayer

Nice going!

Bob-omb Attractor

who else you got?

In Your Vents

drum roll plssss!!!

Cecil Palmer

I am hitting my desk for you

In Your Vents

thnx!!

(っ' ▿'︠ )っ ♥ ♥

@Coffee Blood (Carlos) is eraserhead!!

CatWalk Slayer

O-O

OMG you got Shou!!

Bob-omb Attractor

thats actually scary wtf

Cannibal

damnnn

not evn unders r safe

In Your Vents

hes 1 of my fav heros!!!

Cecil Palmer

AWWW

@Coffee Blood (Carlos) you have a fan!!

~ Coffee Blood (Carlos) is online ~

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

you have terrible taste

Cecil Palmer

SHOU NO

CatWalk Slayer

@Y’all Need Therapy

Cecil Palmer

Thank you Nem

~ Y’all Need Therapy is online ~

Y’all Need Therapy

I thought we were working on this Shouta.

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

youre all trators

Cecil Palmer

Love yourself more and then we can talk

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

no

Cecil Palmer

Shou please!!

Love!!

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

why was i @ twice

Cannibal

scroll uppp

Y’all Need Therapy

We will talk about this later.

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

you can find me dead

~ Coffee Blood (Carlos) is offline ~

Y’all Need Therapy

I’ll go retrieve him.

Cecil Palmer

Thank you Ryou!

~ Y’all Need Therapy is offline ~

Cannibal

(. ͡◐ ₃ ͡◐.)

In Your Vents

wellllllll

ima just exp

SO!!

Cannibal

pls do

In Your Vents

ive studied the vry few vids of eraser online a lotttt cuz like i said hes a fav and ive been tryna connect the dots in these convos until finally (with some secret help yall probs will never know hehehe) i hacked some cameras and whatnot to see who was chasing whirl and who do i see??

1 eraserhead on the scene!!

Cecil Palmer

GOOD JOB!!

≧( >̀ ᴗ ́< )≦

Bob-omb Attractor

i grow more afraid knowing that you and Nedzu know each other

Cecil Palmer

Frfr

CatWalk Slayer

So true

Alucard

We’re just gonna ignore the hacking, got it

Cannibal

yeppppp

Bob-omb Attractor

of cours

CatWalk Slayer

Any others hun?

In Your Vents

big support gear developer POWER LOADER!!

Bob-omb Attractor

well shit

you rigt

In Your Vents

heheheh

my mad geinius knows no bounds

CatWalk Slayer

Again

Ironic

In Your Vents

I LOVE YUOR GEAR SM!!!!

I WANNA STUDCY IT IN DEPTH ITS AMAZING!!!!

Bob-omb Attractor

thank you?

In Your Vents

IF I EVRE COME TO UA CAN I STUDY YOUR GEAR PLEASE??????

Bob-omb Attractor

terrifying thought

but sure

Cecil Palmer

PLEASE COME TO UA!!!

CatWalk Slayer

Man would I love to se eShou’s face

Knowing you are such a huge fan of his

Cannibal

tell me when u go!!

i wanna meet u 2!!

In Your Vents

OFC

thatd be a dream cme tru omg

Alucard

Any others you got?

In Your Vents

hmmmmmmm

guessessssss

ima save them

CatWalk Slayer

Awe

But you’re so good ar this!

1 more??

Please?

In Your Vents

okie

just for you midnight

CatWalk Slayer

!!!

Cecil Palmer

!!!

Cannibal

STRIKE

Alucard

Another 1 down

CatWalk Slayer

How??

In Your Vents

process of elimination!!

mic has mentioned you and eraser a lottt on his radio and also yuve been saying hun a lot and i remeber thats kinda your thing sooo

Cecil Palmer

You really are a fan!!

In Your Vents

OFC!!

youre amazing!!!

Cecil Palmer

I’m gonna cry again listnerrrrrr

CatWalk Slayer

You’re too good!

Alucard

Scarily good and now I’m afraid of when it’ll get to me

In Your Vents

oh I’ll get to you vampy >>:)

Alucard

Oh shit

Cecil Palmer

THEY KNOWWWWWW!!!

In Your Vents

ofc I know vlad king

your name says alllllll

Alucard

Maijima, I’ll face your students if it means I get away from here

Bob-omb Attractor

the door is always open

well

theres no longer a door

so its always open

CatWalk Slayer

Uh oh

Nedzu won’t be happy

Cecil Palmer

WHOOPS

CatWalk Slayer

Can you build another one?

Bob-omb Attractor

perhaps…

Alucard

Good e nough for me

Cannibal

whatevr works ig

In Your Vents

hehehehe

~ 21:17 ~

Hawks was curious. Sue him.

No, actually, do it. It’ll waste the Commission’s money and he’d find that hilarious.

Ignoring that, he was curious who this vigilante was. Eraser had been tailing them for months now, and is the only hero who has actually interacted with the vigilante. According to reports and online discussion, the vigilante was always quick to run away whenever either heroes or police were nearby. Part of why they were called Whirlwind, as they came and went in a blur. Expected, but unhelpful.

Hopefully with his natural charm, he’d finally meet this little fledgling.

He internally grimaced.

Maybe he’s been paying too much attention to the cameras. He shifted the blame to the Commission. They want a public hero, they get an egocentric, fake-ass asshole. All Might was more than enough. He did not want to fall down that path, if only to piss off the Commission more than he does just existing. (Hey, they wanted him, not the other way round. His handlers could at least act like they wanted him, unlike his parents.)

So, here’s where his curiosity led him, flying high in the dark skies of Musutafu at eleven thirty scouting for anything. Maybe he’d regret it in the morning, but that’s then, not now. He could feel his phone buzzing as the group chat kept going, despite Recovery Girl and Endeavour telling everyone to sleep.

He may have only debuted earlier this year, but to think he was liked enough to be added to a group chat full of other heroes (Endeavour! Now he can annoy him over text too!), he was so damn happy. Genuinely happy!

And it only got better as he noticed a figure down below perched upon a streetlight.

He almost short-circuited at the stretched wide wings enlarging their form.

Holy shit. Whirlwind had wings!!

Just about every little bird instinct the Commission had beat trained out of him came rushing back.

He let out a startled squawk and the figure turned to look up at him. They chirped back, and Hawks almost fell from the sky as he tucked his wings close and hurried down. He flapped his wings and landed with a bounce and a chitter.

‘Hawks!’ They hooted. It came out distorted through the mask, but he could still understand it. They jumped down to join him, wings folding against their back. ‘Hey! What’re you doing here?’

That’s it. Hawks was fighting Eraserhead.

He cooed and chirred. ‘Eyas, you have wings?! No one told me!’

‘Wait, really? They’re my defining feature!’

‘I would’ve met you sooner if I knew!’

They squeaked and warbled nonsensical words, their wings fluffing up and fists shaking rapidly. ‘You wanted to meet me?’

‘Of course I did, chickadee! I’ve heard so much about you and was feeling left out.’ Even more so now with this new knowledge. Again, wings! ‘And now I find out your have wings?!’

Whirlwind trilled and bounced in place, joy obvious despite the mask filtration. Their wings shivered and flapped about, and Hawks couldn’t fight the urge to coo. He could understand their excitement, as he felt it too. This is the first other avian he’s met!

‘Can’t believe I’m meeting another hero!’ They hooted, practically vibrating in place. ‘Do you wanna join me on patrol?’

‘Of course!’ Like hell he’d be leaving now. ‘Lead the way, eyas!’

They hooted happily and unfurled their wings, Hawks copying. They took off with speed and Hawks felt a competitive spark as he raced after. Maybe he’d ask them for a race before the patrol ended.

But for now, they had some petty crime to stop.

Chapter Text

~ 8:01 ~

Humans and I

Cannibal

FIGHT ME ERASER!!

(งಠ 益ಠ)ง

Cecil Palmer

???

Nyyyoooommm

??

CatWalk Slayer

???

Bob-omb Attractor

???

In Your Vents

???

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

why?

Cannibal

THE FLEDGLING IS MINE!!

U AINT TAKING THEM!!

I WILL FIGHT U!!

Scorched Earth

You’re talking about the vigilante, right?

Cannibal

(ᕗ⊙̃ 皿⊙̃)ᕗ

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

no

Cannibal

I WILL END U THOT

Bob-omb Attractor

seems it

Nyyyoooommm

Yes, this is about the vig

Cannibal

A VIG W/ WINGSSSSSS

CatWalk Slayer

O-O

Well shit

Scorched Earth

That explains it.

Cannibal

Y DID NO 1 TELL ME???????

t(╥̀ ▿ ́╥t)

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

you will not be taking them

back off

Cannibal

FUCK U

U CANT STOP ME

In Your Vents

wasszis??

Cannibal

VENTSSSSSSS

HELP ME CONVINCE THEM THAT I NEED THE LITTLE BIRDYYYYYYY

In Your Vents

oh shit!!

you met whirlwind!!

Cannibal

I DID

N IM CLAIMING THEM AS MY FLEDGING

YALL CANT STOP ME

Cecil Palmer

But Shou already has the adoption papers readyyyyyyyy!!!!

Polygraph Done Right

It is all prepared.

I did ask.

Cannibal

THAT WAS BE4 I KNEW THEY WERE A FELLOW BIRBBBBB

Polygraph Done Right

Though this does now explain why you were in Musutafu.

I was wondering about that.

Cannibal

non local birb hangs w/ local crime birb

i twas time i finally met themmmm

cant believe yall wuld keep this from me

In Your Vents

for shame

Cannibal

4 shame

Scorched Earth

Vent apparently knew as well.

Why aren’t you pissed at them?

Cannibal

cuz vents is my buddy

In Your Vents

awwwwwww

<3 <3

Cannibal

<3 <3

also they arent a hero unlike all yall

cant expect a civillian to inform me of shit

espec since its a vig

In Your Vents

i can tell you wat i do know!!

check dms

Cannibal

٩(◕̀ ▿ ́◕)۶

n this is y ur my fav

In Your Vents

yay!! <3

In Your Vents created a new chat with Cannibal

In Your Vents changed their name to Fluffy Gremlin Boi  

Fluffy Gremlin Boi changed Cannibal’s name to Fluffy Wing Boi

Fluffy Gremlin Boi changed the chat name to ‘Fluffy Bois’

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

heeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

heard you wanna adopt a wingggg

Fluffy Wing Boi

:0000

howd u no??

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

i have my wayssss >:)))

but forreal

whacha wanna know???

Fluffy Wing Boi

patrol routes n times mostly

i wanna talkk more

htey were fun!!

n its so rare 2 find oter avians!!!

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

frfr tho

they patrol around musutafu between 9pm and 12am

kinda random where thye go tho

just look around and youll find them

Fluffy Wing Boi

thnx!!

ima see them again 2night!

hopefully

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

you gotta tell me bout it later!!

Fluffy Wing Boi

ofc!!

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

awesssss!!

Cannibal

no this isnt over eraser

( 눈 . 눈 )

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

ill keep that in mind

CatWalk Slayer

Fight fight fight!!

Bob-omb Attractor

fight fight fight!

Nyyyoooommm

Fight fight!!

Cannibal

ALSO

@Scorched Earth u r no longer my fav

vents has claimed that spot

In Your Vents

(✿/  ͡> ω ͡<) /  ☆ ⋆｡°✩

<3

Bob-omb Attractor

huh

Alucard

Interesting choice but sure

Scorched Earth

I…

I’m not sure what to feel or say.

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

i hope you know you have terrible taste

Scorched Earth

I can’t even be offended.

Cannibal

hey

every1 looked at all might

im just saying

there was more merch 4 me

n it was awesme

Nyyyoooommm

Fair enough

Cannibal

do u no how soft the slippers r??

my fav item hands down

Nyyyoooommm

Most hero slippers are suprisingly comfortable

Bob-omb Attractor

i rarely wear lsippers and acn agree

CatWalk Slayer

Right?

I know it’s conceited to own your own merch

But the slippers are just so nice!

Cannibal

right???

commisson tried 2 ban me frm weargin them

didnt stop me tho lol

screw rhem

In Your Vents

so tru king go off

CatWalk Slayer

Fuck the HPSC

How dare

Alucard

Wait, going back

@Cannibal are you even old enough to adopt??

Let alone a vig?

Cannibal

…

shit

Cecil Palmer

LMAO

Bob-omb Attractor

lol

Polygraph Done Right

Unfortunately, you won’t be able to adopt.

Cannibal

nooooooooooooooooooooo

In Your Vents

wat bout being a bro??

Cannibal

(. ◐ . ◐ .)

maybe…

@Coffee Blood (Carlos) I DEMAND SIBLING RIGHTS!!!

Bob-omb Attractor

that was quick

CatWalk Slayer

Sobling rights!!!

Nyyyoooommm

Sibling rights!

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

sigh…

Cecil Palmer

I’ll let you!!

So long as you don’t fight

Cannibal

DEAL

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

fine…

Nyyyoooommm

That ended more civil then expected

Bob-omb Attractor

don’t jinx it

Polygraph Done Right

Good.

I’d rather not cover up a crime scene, thanks.

Alucard

Be thanlful while it lasts

Polygraph Done Right

Sigh.

Fluffy Bois

Fluffy Wing Boi

i got sibling rights!!!

WOO!!

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

WOO!! ٩(︡^ ▭^︠ԅ)

hell yeah!!

Fluffy Wing Boi

man

cant belive i finally met the vig n they have WINGS

WINGSSS!!!!

(っ>̀ ▿ ́<)っ

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

good for you!!

Fluffy Wings Boi

ikr!!

im def gonna meet w/ them again

mbye convince them 2 come 2 fukuoka

we cud patrol together!!

last night was fun!!

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

(. ͡◎ ▿ ͡◎.)

Fluffy Wing Boi

bad idea??

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

nononon

think it cud be cool

they just havnt left musu before

Fluffy Wing Boi

ohhh right rigt

hhhmmmmmmm

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

i mean

they might be willong???

just oggta ask

Fluffy Wing Boi

will do will do

i hpe thye accept!!

the patrol was way more fun than usu

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

DEATS!!!

Fluffy Wing Boi

OFC

start!!

well context 1st

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

??

Fluffy Wing Boi

im not suppost 2 make birb noises

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

who we killing??

my knives are ready

Fluffy Wing Boi

LMAO

luv u <3

hpsc be a bicth

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

ofccccc

always…

Fluffy Wing Boi

ANWAYYY

we spent the whole time birbing

honestly

a catharsis i didnt no i needed lol

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

if we evr meet

make all the birb noises you want

Fluffy Wing Boi

awwww thnx!! <3

SO

that was a huuuge ++

we stopped lota crim

met local lie detector

flew around the city enjying the sights

NNN we evn raced!!

i won WOO

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

woo!!!

congratz!! ┏( ◔ ▿ ◔ )┛

Fluffy Wing Boi

ty ty

it was prtty close 2

theyre good

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

mybe that can be a regulr thing??

Fluffy Wing Boi

⊂( ͡◉ ω ͡◉)⊃

i hope soooooo!!!

if u learn more can u share??

plsssss

Fluffy Gremlin Boi

you got it!!

Fluffy Wing Boi

yisssssss

Chapter Text

~ 5:41 ~

Cat Nation

Cheshire

*Image sent* // Pumpkin (ginger) and Noodle (calico) curled up together sleeping on a lounge //

look at my bbys!!!

*Image sent* // Noodle stretching and yawning //

~ Scar has saved two images ~

Scar

im looking

adorable

*Image sent* // Moron (black) and Fool (white) are jumping blurs and Cretin (tux) just looks confused //

*Image sent* // Cretin stretching //

*Image sent* // Fool stretching //

*Image sent* // Moron stretching //

*Image sent* // A smiling Hizashi is holding Fool while Moron is on their head and Cretin is draped across their shoulders //

here are mine

~ Cheshire has saved several images ~

Cheshire

AWWWWWWW ♥ ♥ ♥

≧( ♥ ω ♥ )≦

*Image sent* // Pumpkin reaching up at the camera //

*Image sent* // Noodle hanging from a cat tower as Pumpkin stands over her like the scene from Lion King //

*Video sent* // Noodle zooming across the room and knocking things over as Pumpkin watches //

Scar

*Video sent* // Moron jumping on Cretin who sends them both into Fool like its bowling //

*Video sent* // Fool stalking Moron and jumping on his tail //

*Video sent* // The cats play fighting //

~ Scar has saved two images ~

~ Scar has saved a video ~

~ Cheshire has saved several videos ~

Cheshire

GASP

OHH!!

Scar

?

Cheshire

*Image sent* // A new cat, a grey tabby, getting chin scratches //

A NEW CATTTTTT

Scar

name and adopt now

Cheshire

i dub thee

truffle

*Video sent* // Truffle meeting Pumpkin and Noodle before all rub up on each other //

AWWWW LOOK!!!

*Image sent* // The cats licking each other //

theyre getting along so well!!!

~ Scar has saved a video ~

~ Scar has saved an image ~

Scar

good

take the mto the vet

Cheshire

i willlll!!!

dw

i need anoteh car tower nowwwww

maybe i should insal some leges and whatnot

Scar

*Link sent*

*Link sent*

*Link sent*

try these

Cheshire

TYTYTY!!!

have anothe image

*Image sent* // Truffle stretching in the foreground as Pumpkin and Noodle are blurs racing up the cat tower //

Scar

the best compensation

besides free coffee

~ Aristocat and Pink Panther are online ~

Pink Panther

You know

I was going tgo be mad waking up so early to a million notifs

But the cats are worth it

Aristocat

OMG??!!

YOU HAVE ANOTHER ONE NOW???!!!

Cheshire

YEPPP!!

*Image sent* // Truffle mleping at the camera //

*Video sent* // Truffle zooming around the room before Pumpkin and Noodle join //

MEET TRUFFLEEEEEEE!!!!

*Image sent* // Truffle and Noodle pawing at each other //

Aristocat

AAAWWWWWWWWWW ♥ ♥ ♥

TRUFFLE!!!!!!

Pink Panther

Truffle is beautiful!!

Cheshire

ISNT SHE???!! ♥ ♥

~ Aristocat and Pink Panther have saved several images ~

~ Aristocat and Pink Panther have saved several videos ~

Aristocat

I’ll be happy to wake up to this whenever

Even on 2 hours sleep

*Image sent* // The cats covering Shouta on the lounge //

~ Cheshire and Pink Panther have saved an image ~

Pink Panther

Worth it

Scar

always

*Image sent* // Cretin attacking the camera //

Cheshire

AWWWW!!! ♥ ♥

~ Cheshire and Pink Panther have saved an image ~

~ 13:30 ~

Animal Crypts

Owl Crypt

jedzu!!!

i finished the new packet you sent!!

ima email it back rn

Stoat Crypt

Fantastic!

I’ll have it graded and sent back to you within the week.

Owl Crypt

awes

Stoat Crypt

I’m looking forward to next year :)

Having you as my own personal student will be very enjoyable!

I’ll finally be able to see how you work in person rather than anonymous hacking.

Owl Crypt

aww your making me blush

(✿=^̀ ▿ ́^=)

Stoat Crypt

You will also be able to live up to your name!

Owl Crypt

HELL YEAH

AWES!!!

ima scare everyone hehehehe

ALSO

shud i reply to the yakuza orrrrr

Stoat Crypt

Oh?

What an interesting development! :)

If you believe this could be beneficial to all, by all means!

Owl Crypt

cool

will do then

this gon be interestinggggg

Stoat Crypt

I do hope you’ll inform me of anything interesting.

Owl Crypt

O-O

uhhhhhhhh

dint think the yaku would like thattttt

kinda trying not to die??

Stoat Crypt

Alright, that’s fair enough. Only inform me if it is absolutely necessary, be it your own safety being compromised or the fall of hero society as is.

Besides all that, I do have a question. Have you taken a look at the news recently?

Owl Crypt

ye

the tv in the caf is currently playing it now

it usually does for he regs

whyyyy??

Stoat Crypt

I believe many of the recent arrests and hospitalisations are as a result of your site. It appears to be working well.

Owl Crypt

oh yeah!!

thought they looked familar

its workingggg!!!

Stoat Crypt

It is! :D

If there are any other interesting developments you’d like my opinion on, or even just for me to know of, please message me.

Owl Crypt

will do!!

might take abit tho

dpnds on how busy thngs get

Stoat Crypt

You certainly have a lot on your plate.

Take all the time you need, Izuku. I have plenty myself that I’m working on! It’ll be very entertaining to watch everything once it’s all sorted.

Owl Crypt

awes

so much to look forwad too!!

cant waittt!!!

Stoat Crypt

Neither can I! :D

~ 15:03 ~

Power of God and Anime on my Side

Fre Sh A Voca Do

hello (adele)

Is That a Weed?

Hello. (Lionel)

They Were Roommates

Hello! (Kesha)

Fre Sh A Voca Do

hello from tHE OTHER SIDE!!!

They Were Roommates

What’s up little listenr??

Fre Sh A Voca Do

nthing rlly

uni done for the day

got basically no one to serve

borddddd

Is That a Weed?

Wait, serve?

Are you are work?

Fre Sh A Voca Do

wouldnt you like to know weather boy

and arent you??

hypocrite

Is That a Weed?

Fair point.

They Were Roommates

We all are TT^TT

Is That a Weed?

But this paperwork isn’t going anywhere.

Unlike me.

“Fuck this shit I’m out.”

Fre Sh A Voca Do

*jumps in trashcan*

They Were Roommates

Hey guys, I’m really sad

Nedzu is being cruel :(

Fre Sh A Voca Do

rippppp

wish I cud help

but noone goes against nedzu

They Were Roommates

(ノ ╥︣ - ╥︣ )ノ

Should I try running?

Fre Sh A Voca Do

no matter how fast he ran

he cud not escape the demon

but he would not let his soul be taken today!!

They Were Roommates

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

Is That a Weed?

Doesn’t Nedzu already have all your souls?

They Were Roommates

Yeah true

Fre Sh A Voca Do

well shit

def can’t hekp you now

They Were Roommates

Damn

Is That a Weed?

No one can help against Nedzu.

He didn’t name himself Devil Incarnate without reason.

Fre Sh A Voca Do

tru tru

you right

They Were Roommates

You’re both lucky you don’t work with him

(╯ ►︣ ▭ ◄︣ )╯┻━━━━┻

Is That a Weed?

Considering I work with Shouta on a near daily basis, I’m glad.

The horror stories are enough thanks.

Fre Sh A Voca Do

riiiiiiip

They Were Roommates

Yeah…

Send memes?

Fre Sh A Voca Do

ofc

Is That a Weed?

Definitely.

They Were Roommates

Yay!!

Chapter Text

~ 15:42 ~

Humans and I

In Your Vents

on a scale of “this will not leave this gc” to “I’m legally obligated to commit my duties as a hero/police”, if i were to “forcably” remove a muzzled child from their home and “accidentially” reveal their previous guadians address on a vigilante form, where would yall land??

Polygraph Done Right

…What…

Cecil Palmer

I can be quiet!!

CatWalk Slayer

My lips are sealed!

Nyyyoooommm

I won’t tell a soul

Maths a Lich

Nothing leaves this chatroom.

Howdy Bullseye

My guns are ready

Cannibal

ill help u!!

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

give me the address

Y’all Need Therapy

I just want to talk.

Scorched Earth

I’ll remove any evidence.

Universe Destroyer

I’ll help too!

Bob-omb Attractor

do you need any equipment?

Alucard

Need any help with housing?

Heal Pulse

What are the injuries?

In Your Vents

huh

Polygraph Done Right

I…

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

I didn’t realise everyone here was so crime primed

Concerning

Polygraph Done Right

I can turn my eyes if need be.

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

…

Ok, I can to

In Your Vents

LMAO

woo!!!

ill take yall up on destroying evidence

if ya know the vig forms youll find the address!!

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

ill find it

Alucard

You better tell us once you do

Cannibal

i gotta knoooooo

In Your Vents

awes

OHH!!

also

there’s nother vig form i found

you shud check it

Bob-omb Attractor

a new one??

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Please send it to us too Shouta

Polygraph Done Right

That’s another for the books…

Cecil Palmer

Lol

How many do you have??

Polygraph Done Right

Too many…

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

is it linked?

In Your Vents

yeppep

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

ill chec kit

In Your Vents

awes

ttyl!

time to comit crimzzzz

Cannibal

byeeeeeeee!!!

~ In Your Vents is offline ~

~ 15:55 ~

Local Owl Dad @godgavemewingssosuffer

say goodbye to your local café haven and say heyo to your local owl dad!!

now proud father of 1

3.1K Retweets     6.7K Likes

~ 16:03 ~

Alucard

I’d put a ban on it then

Howdy Bullseye

Ya really think that’d stop ‘em?

CatWalk Slayer

The kids are absolute menaces!!

Bob-omb Attractor

even if you encase it in tungsten  

one of my students will blow it up

i guarantee it

Cecil Palmer

They destroyed Ground Beta last week right?

Bob-omb Attractor

yep

that was them

Alucard

Ya know what

Fair

~ In Your Vents is online ~

Cecil Palmer

VENTS!!

Cannibal

MY FWEND!!

HEY!!

Universe Destroyer

Hey!

In Your Vents

HEYYYYYYY

i have axquired the child!!

they are mine

i am now a proud father of 1

CatWalk Slayer

What happened to “not adopting” lmao

In Your Vents

thigs have chnaged

Cannibal

lol fair

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

That’s now how that works…

In Your Vents

my child just signed “thats weird nad also no”

my silly silly child

the laws do not stop me

Universe Destroyer

Sighed or signed?

In Your Vents

N

Cecil Palmer

YOU KNOW JSL???

In Your Vents

yee

Bob-omb Attractor

you’re killing him

you gonna kill Hizashi at this rate

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

please dont kill my husband

thats my job

In Your Vents

NO

DONT DIE

I CANT LIVE WIHTOTU YOUR RADIO SHWO!!!

Cecil Palmer

IM ALIVE!!

In Your Vents

YES

GOOD

STAY ALIVE

Cecil Palmer

ILL TRY

Universe Destroyer

Going back

Is your kid alright now?

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Again, not how this works…

In Your Vents

ye

theyre gettig settled

spare room nw theirs

Ginger Flavoured Nyan Cat

Just…

Just do your best, I guess

In Your Vents

ofc im gonna!!

only the bestest for my child!!

CatWalk Slayer

As it should be!

Universe Destroyer

You’ll do great, Vents!

Bob-omb Attractor

dn’t kill them

Cecil Palmer

If you have any tips, please!!

We would really appreciate them!!

Cannibal

taking notes…

Universe Destroyer

I thought you settled for older brother?

Cannibal

doesnt mean i cant take notes

Universe Destroyer

Fair

~ 17:23 ~

Midoriya Izuku created a new chat with +81 *** *** *** and +81 *** *** ***

Midoriya Izuku changed 3 names

Crime Dad changed the chat name to ‘ Dysfunctional Family’

Crime Dad

heyyo my son and sons freind!!

can I call you my son??

or would you prefer smth else??

Kidnapped Son

i regret so much alreadu

ure barely older then us

and son is fine

Crime Dad

awes!!

but i am older

Kidnapped Son

2

2 years my dude

Crime Dad

┏( ͡◭ ₃ ͡◭)┛

also you agreed sooooo

Kidnapped Son

god dammit

only upside is the cats

Feral Child Friend

You only have yourself to blame, Shinsou

Also, cats?

Kidnapped Son

i will stab u

Crime Dad

*Image sent* // Pumpkin, Noodle and Truffle staring at the camera //

HERE

THE KITTIESSSSS

what kinda knife you want??

Kidnapped Son

serrated

Crime Dad

you got it kiddo!!

Feral Child Friend

Adorbale cats but

I suddenly feel the need to run and I’m not even near either of you

Kidnapped Son

good

run bitch

Crime Dad

make srue you don’t get cauhgt!!

Feral Child Friend

Don’t encourage them!!

Crime Dad

do you se emy name??

Feral Child Friend

…

Right

Kidnapped Son

dont u have a café to run @Crime Dad ?

Crime Dad

nahhhhhhhhh

im usually asleep at htis hour

so its closeddd

Kidnapped Son

huh

weird sleep hour club

Crime Dad

hell yeah!!

Feral Child Friend

You two can stay in that club far from me thanks

Kidnapped Son

freak

having a sleep schedule?

couldnt be me

Feral Child Friend

Dick

Kidnapped Son

bitch

Feral Child Friend

Fucker

Crime Dad

okie okie

language kids!!

yall are 12!!

Kidnapped Son

fuck u

ur 14

Feral Child Friend

Also we’ve heard way worse from the fuckers at school

Also been hurt a lot from the same fuckers

Swear my arm was going to be torn off

Kidnapped Son

at least ur not walking around with a god damn muzzle

Crime Dad

well shit

Feral Child Friend

Hypocrite

Kidnapped Son

hypocrite

Crime Dad

hush you

im dad

anywaysssss

whats say you 2 join me for some self defence training??

Feral Child Friend

Wait really??

Kidnapped Son

sure

if you can teach

Crime Dad

ofc I can

i fight crime for a living ya know

Kidnapped Son

…i thuoght u ran a café

Crime Dad

oh dont think I cant do both

i am quite the multitasker

Feral Child Friend

Sure then

I’ll take you up on your offer

Kidnapped Son

same

Crime Dad

cool cool

but thats for later kiddos

my child and i have some shit to do

Kidnapped Son

great

is there at elast a place for my gaming shit?

Crime Dad

yeppp

theres an office space that i dont use

so all yours now!!

Kidnapped Son

cool

Feral Child Friend

Gonna keep streaming?

Kidnapped Son

ofc

Feral Child Friend

Nice

Crime Dad

wait you stream???

Kidnapped Son

recently yeah

Crime Dad

awesssss

Feral Child Friend

Oh right

Will you still be coming to school?

Kidnapped Son

fuck if i know

Crime Dad

well seeeeee

Feral Child Friend

Damn

I’ll be in hell alone

Maybe I’ll finally take dear ol’ dad up on his private school idea

Crime Dad

you do that

if not

online cuorses are easy to setup

youre welocme over anytime mono!!

ill help youuu

Kidnapped Son

come over

i dare u

Feral Child Friend

I’ll destroy you

Kidnapped Son

try me bitch

Crime Dad

awww

yall get along so well

brings a tear to my eye

Kidnapped Son

i hope u know im rolling my eyes so hard right now

Feral Child Friend

Ew

I’m resisting the urge to vomit

~ 18:47 ~

2 Animals and 2 Humans Walk into a Bar

Insomniac Hobo

wha tis this nedzu

canaryseer.net

Rat Overlord

Is this the new vigilante form I see was spoken of earlier?

Thank you for bringing this to my attention!

Insomniac Hobo

dont act like you dont know what this is

explain

Red Light Blue Light

This was recently made.

According to backup data, it was created a little over a week ago.

Rat Overlord

How surprising!

Insomniac Hobo

im serious nedzu

Rat Overlord

And I have nothing to say, Shouta.

Cat-Atonic

This seems like an important matter though

Rat Overlord

It is important in that it’ll become a thriving underground network!

I’m sure you all will appreciate it in due time.

Insomniac Hobo

what the fuck are you planning nedzu

Rat Overlord

Simply think of it as insurance for the future.

Red Light Blue Light

I don’t know if I can trust that.

We have no idea how secure this site is, and this could very easily backfire.

Rat Overlord

I wouldn’t worry about that, Naomasa. The individual behind this site is fully trustworthy by my standards.

They are quite the accomplished hacker and have used their expertise to secure the site. Even I would need a lot of time to crack through it.

Insomniac Hobo

ill be keeping an eye on this site

Red Light Blue Light

Please warn us of anything concerning.

Cat-Atonic

This still seems dangerous to leave up

Rat Overlord

That is part of the point!

It needs to be a place anyone can go to for information or to deliver information to others. And we will benefit from all of this.

Insomniac Hobo

you better know what youre doing rat

Rat Overlord

But of course I do! I’m not the smarted being alive for nothing :)

Red Light Blue Light

Just keep us posted.

Cat-Atonic

Please

Chapter Text

~ 1:32 ~

A clatter and groan rumbled through the café walls, breaking Izuku from his musings. He finished up the chocolate frappe he was making and slid it across the bar to a patron.

“I’ll be in the back for a few minutes. Don’t break anything.”

He got a few nods and grunts in response before he stepped into the kitchen where the door to the back alley stood. He grabbed a knife and cautiously opened the door, peering left and right for the noise source.

“Where… oh shit—!”

He ducked back in to swap the knife for a medical kit and hurried to the bleeding body sat against the wall. He opened the kit and set to work, having stitched up his own injuries enough (stupid villain with blades for hands) to know his way around deep wounds.

“Hey, are you still conscious?” He asked and moved the hand pressed against the wound.

It stretched from the person’s heavily scarred stomach, across healthy skin, and up their chest to more scarrage, sluggishly oozing blood. Izuku took notice of all the scarred skin, but paid it no mind as he set to work, cleaning up the blood as best he could.

“…Wish I wasn’t…” They groaned.

“Well, please try to stay awake. It’s going to hurt, but you can rest once I’m done.” They flinched as the first stitch went in. “Sorry.”

It took longer than he’d liked, but the last stitch went in and he could finally apply some gauze and bandages.

“There, done. Now, I just need to get you inside.”

They grunted and shifted slightly. “Fuckin hell… hope you know I’m not helping.”

Izuku rolled his eyes. “Yeah I know. At least hold my shoulder or something. Make it a little easier for me.”

They wrapped an around across his shoulders as he slipped an arm under their legs and torso. With great effort, and the unveiling of his wings for a little more push, he managed to heave them up. Maybe it helped that he could feel their ribs speaking to malnourishment (could relate), but he wouldn’t focus on that.

(Vigilante work definitely helped with building muscle, that’s for sure.)

He struggled back into the kitchen and, in a moment of scattered thoughts, decided to bring the dead weight to a booth. Last he checked, at least one was free, and stepping into the café proper confirmed that.

He dropped the scarred person onto the long booth seat. “Get some rest.” He’d deal with the aftermath later. He still had customers to tend to.

“Thanks,” they grunted before soon passing out.

Blood loss tends to do that. He’d experienced it too many times to count comfortably, but oh well. No time to linger. He has more customers coming in soon.

~ 6:27 ~

Dysfunctional Family

Kidnapped Son

unless this is a dead body

i think this is actual kidnapping this time

adultnapping??

whatever

@Crime Dad

izuku explain

Feral Child Friend

The fuck did he do??

Kidnapped Son

theres a guy passed out on the lounge

maybe dead

dunno

with the cats

im more suprised izuku managed 2 bring him up here

*Image sent* // Scarred person dead asleep on a lounge under blankets and cats //

idk wtf 2 do

Feral Child Friend

Huh

Hopefully not a dead guy

But yeah

I think that’s actually kidnapping now

@Crime Dad wtf

~ Crime Dad is online ~

Crime Dad

whassup??

Kidnapped Son

read above

Crime Dad

ooohhhhhhh

yeahhhhhh

wait

lemme ask the heros gc real quick gimme a sec

Feral Child Friend

The fucking wHAT???

Humans and I

Cecil Palmer

But I need to know!!!

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

im not asking

CatWalk Slayer

Stop being shy!!

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

nem what

Cecil Palmer

I can’t just go up to them and ask “hey, what’re you favourite foods and colours and also do you like this and that”

I’ll just scarfe them off!!! (ノ ಥ ︹ ಥ )ノ

Cannibal

i mean

i just showed up

Cecil Palmer

But you’re an avian!!

I’m just me!!

Maths a Lich

That is quite unfortunate.

Cannibal

skill dif

CatWalk Slayer

Unhelpful but true

Maybe try buying some wings?

I can help you look!

Cannibal

i can 2!!

Cecil Palmer

You guys

(っಥ̀ ᴗ ́ಥ)っ

CatWalk Slayer

Let’s go!!

And cmon Shou! You gotta ask!

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

ill think on it

~ In Your Vents is online ~

In Your Vents

heyooo!!

Cecil Palmer

Yo!!

And thank you Shou!! ♥ ♥

CatWalk Slayer

Hey!!

Cannibal

friend!!

hey!

Maths a Lich

Hello.

In Your Vents

hihiii

questttttt

i may have actually kidnapped sm1 this time

Maths a Lich

Again?

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

what is it this time

CatWalk Slayer

O-O

In Your Vents

somone was injured outside my place

i helped them

brought them in

and now thyrw passed out on my lounge

soooooooo

kidnapping yes or no???

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

how do you find tourself in these situations…

Cannibal

its hnestly impssive

is kidnapping ur thing orrrr??

In Your Vents

heheh

(✿ ͡◕ ω ͡◕)

Maths a Lich

Don’t most criminals only focus on one crime?

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

yes

Maths a Lich

Thought so.

Cannibal

kidnapping is ur thing got it

In Your Vents

yee!!

Maths a Lich

So long as you aren’t holding them there.

No.

In Your Vents

damn

thhouhgt I finally did it

CatWalk Slayer

Do you want to kidnap someone?

In Your Vents

¯\_(◔̀ ▿ ́◔)_/¯

ANYAYSSS

thats all i needed

thnx!!

~ In Your Vents is offline ~

Maths a Lich

Alright…

Cannibal

anyways

what if u go with gifts or smth??

we can buy shit while we r out

Cecil Palmer

I just don’t want to scare tehm…

This is so frustrating!

CatWalk Slayer

It’ll be fine, hun!

Promise!

I’ll be there the whole way Zashi!

Cecil Palmer

THANK YOU NEM!!

<3 <3

CatWalk Slayer

No problem! <3

I’m always happy to help!

Feral Child Friend

@Crime Dad

Kidnapped Son

@Crime Dad

Feral Child Friend

You better answer dammit

@Crime Dad

Kidnapped Son

@Crime Dad

@Crime Dad stg

u cant just run like that wtf

Feral Child Friend

@Crime Dad we need answers!!

Now!

Crime Dad

im back!!

no its not kidnapping

sad :(

Kidnapped Son

bitch wat???

explain!!

i did not expect to wake up to a god damn STRANGER on the lounge!!!

Feral Child Friend

Kidnapping or not, wtf?!?!

And HERO CHAT??

Crime Dad

okie

so

found them behid the café

real injuried and bloody

so i treated them

brought them in

Feral Child Friend

Do you just help people for fun?

Sorry, let me rephrase

Do you just kidnap people for fun?

Crime Dad

¯\_( ͡◎ ω ͡◎)_/¯

a customer helped me get them upstairs

Kidnapped Son

a customer

Crime Dad

hey

hes a hero

its fine

Kidnapped Son

how many heroes do u no??

Feral Child Friend

You’re a 14 year old running a café and are somehow in a hero chat

What is your life???

Crime Dad

heheh

idk at this point

ANYWaysss

got them on the lounge

threw some blankes on them

cats joined

done!!

Feral Child Friend

I don’t know if I regret knowing you or not

Kidnapped Son

i do

OH SHIT

theyre waking up!

help

idk wat to do

Crime Dad

(. ◎ ▿ ◎ .)

im coming up!!

Feral Child Friend

Don’t die!

Kidnapped Son

trying!!

Feral Child Friend

To die or not???

~ 9:21 ~

Humans and I

Cecil Palmer

Shou I love you sm, this latte is divine ♥ ♥

Bob-omb Attractor

traitor

Alucard

Screw you and your spouse coffee privilages

Howdy Bullseye

Thought I knew ya

For shame

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

heh

Cecil Palmer

Sorry I have a loving husband whom I adore

Alucard

Fuck you

Cecil Palmer

No ♥

CatWalk Slayer

That’s Shou’s job

Alucard

NEM

Bob-omb Attractor

and i’m out

Howdy Bullseye

Find my will

I’m done

CatWalk Slayer

CACKLING

Guys please

Yall know it’s true

Y’all Need Therapy

Nemuri please.

I only have so many days available.

Alucard

I need bleach

Heal Pulse

Please don’t touch the bleach Sekijiro.

Alucard

Ok

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

moving on

Bob-omb Attractor

please do

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

it was interesting earlier

Howdy Bullseye

How so?

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

the owner needed help with an injured person

Heal Pulse

How injured?

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

heavily scarred

however i believe the scars are years old

couldnt see muc hwith the clothes

but there was a lot of blood

Heal Pulse

Did you take them to a hospital?

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

no

Heal Pulse

Shouta.

Bob-omb Attractor

isnt the café a safe zone of sorts?

they could be a villain or vig

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

exactly

thats what the owner believed them to be

a hospital would not eb welcome

and he needed help to get them upstairs to rest

Heal Pulse

Were the wounds at least taken care of? Scarring can easily be infected, and considering the amount of blood, there’s a chance the wound would need stitches.

CatWalk Slayer

Grandma Chiyo at it again!

Maths a Lich

Where would we be without her?

Bob-omb Attractor

dead

Alucard

Dead

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

dead

Howdy Bullseye

Thank you for keeping us alive Chiyo

Heal Pulse

You’re welcome.

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

i asked and the owner said the wounds were taken care of

ill check in during lunch

Heal Pulse

I understand that you don’t want people to know of this café, but can you please make an exception.  

I’d like to make sure this person is alright.

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

sure

Howdy Bullseye

Before his own husband

Alucard

The betrayal

Bob-omb Attractor

i think Chiyo is always the exception here

Cecil Palmer

SHOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

you get lattes

thats it

Cecil Palmer

ლ( ╥ ﹏ ╥ )ლ

Betrayed by my own husbad

CatWalk Slayer

Don’t worry Zashi

I got you!

Cecil Palmer

Nem

(ɔ ◕ ﹏ ◕ )ɔ <3

CatWalk Slayer

<3

We can go shopping later!

Cecil Palmer

NEM ILY <3

CatWalk Slayer

Love you too!! <3 <3

Maths a Lich

We’ll uncover thiscafe eventually.

Howdy Bullseye

You cannot hide it forever Shouta

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

im not afraid to kill a coworker or 3

Alucard

Save it for the students

They already fear you

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

good

Bob-omb Attractor

speaking of

could you drop by my room?

they need the fear

too many explosions have left them near fearless so i need you

Coffee Blood (Carlos)

if nedzu allows me

this paperwork is killing me

~ Devil Incarnate is online ~

Devil Incarnate

Go ahead! :)

If you want extra pressure, I’d be happy to come along too! I’ve been meaning to check in with what your students are making, Higari.

Bob-omb Attractor

well

i just wanted to scare them, not create ghosts

or more work for Chiyo or Ryou

but sure

Heal Pulse

I’d rather you didn’t.

Y’all Need Therapy

^^

Bob-omb Attractor

im not saying no to Nedzu

i still wish to live thanks

Devil Incarnate

And I wish you to live as well! :D

We’ll be dropping by in a few minutes.

Bob-omb Attractor

thanks

CatWalk Slayer

Can you record this please!!

Cecil Palmer

Please!!

Maths a Lich

I too would like to see this.

Universe Destroyer

I have to see this

Bob-omb Attractor

sure

Cecil Palmer

Yes!!

~ 13:33 ~

Dysfunctional Family

Crime Dad added +81 *** *** ***

Crime Dad changed +81 *** *** ***’s name to Kidnapped Older Son

Crime Dad

welome!!

٩(︡> ‿‿<︠)۶

Feral Child Friend

Izuku wtf

Kidnapped Son

ffs

hi touya

Kidnapped Older Son

Hi?

I’m still delirious from blood loss

Tf is going on??

Crime Dad

welcome to the fam!!

Kidnapped Older Son

Cool

Can I leave?

Crime Dad

nope!! (ง>̀ ▿ ́<)ง

Kidnapped Son

ur stuck here now

Feral Child Friend

Gotta get used to it now man

Kidnapped Older Son

Great

Does it come with free food?

Kidnapped Son

considering izu had ppl over earler to make sure u were ok

id say yes

Crime Dad

wellllll

think you can help with teh café??

gonna need extra hands soon

Kidnapped Older Son

Teach me and sure

Crime Dad

WOO!!

awes

~ 13:44 ~

Feral Teachers Bouta Snap

MegaBomb Prime

*Video sent* // Class 2-H is building things and talking when the door opens, though no one notices. In walks Shouta, face dead and scowling, with a cheery Nedzu on his shoulder, who comes to stand by Higari and wait. Eventually, one student looks up and screams, alerting everyone else who all collectively scream and hide behind their desks. Two students pass out and Higari starts laughing. Shouta and Nedzu proceed to lecture them as they cower in fear, a few peeking over their desks at the two //

here ya go you sadists

Legal Chloroform

LMAO YESSS

THAKN YOU!!

~ Several people have saved a video ~

MegaBomb Prime

you’re welcome

FM Live

INCREDIBLE

Fly Me to the Moon

Amazing

E = Manslaughter Conspiracy²

You truly are the most feared person here Shouta.

Excluding Nedzu of course.

UAs Eighth Wonder

as i should be

Count von aCountable

I can now threaten my students

Thanks

MegaBomb Prime

no prob

Combo Breaker

Can I request the same?

FM Live

Film it!

Film it!!

Combo Breaker

Was goin to either way

UAs Eighth Wonder

sure

Fly Me to the Moon

You’re really living up to your name Shouta

Legal Chloroform

Even back when we wer ein school people feared him